http://www.philbrodieband.com/jokes_dumb_quotes.htm*"When I pictured heroin, I pictured some crazy crackhead with no shoes under a bridge. You never think that is going to be you. And it never was me. I was never under a bridge, and I always had shoes." - Nicole Richie
*"So, how did you all meet?" - Donna Air, while interviewing sibling band The Corrs
*"It's literally murder on the dancefloor." - Dermot O'Leary, hosting the X Factor
*"Sometimes what I actually love to do is go to a farm and get fresh milk or watch a pig get slaughtered." - Jake Gyllenhaal
*"If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final." - Cyndi Lauper
*"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
*"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
*"This planet is our home. If we destroy the planet, we've destroyed our home, so it is fundamentally important." - H. Ross Perot
*"We'd like to avoid problems, because when we have problems, we can have troubles." - Governor Wesley Bolin
*"Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there."
- Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster
*"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theisman, quarterback and sports analyst
*"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes." - Richard Nixon
*"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
*"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield
*For those of you haven't read the book, it's being published tomorrow - David Frost
*I went in and said, "If I see one more gratuitous shot of a woman's body, I'm quitting . . . " I think the show should be emotional story lines, morals, real- life heroes. And that's what we're doing - David Hasselhoff, star of Baywatch
*Not only was Sue having a nervous breakdown, but she was having a tough time mentally too - Simon Bates
*"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
*"What will you do when you leave football, Jack, will you stay in football?" - Stuart Hall, Radio 5 live
*'There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.' - Ken Olson, 1977, Digital Equipment Corporation
*'Radio has no future.' - Lord Kelvin, 1897
*"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
*"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
- George Gobel
*"Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets." - British government report on why cod fish are disappearing from the North Sea
*"For most people, death comes at the end of their lives." - Radio broadcaster, UK
*"Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline
*"Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier." - BBC London Traffic Report
*'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.' -Dan Quayle
*'Life is very important to Americans.' - Bob Dole
*"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
*"Most hotels are already booked solid by people, plus 5,000 journalists." - Bangkok Post
*'No one will need more than 637Kb of memory for a personal computer' - Bill Gates
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