Zappa.com

my wind is more of a problem for anyone near me

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Close your eyes and visualize a glockenspiel(*,*)

Thanks. Real encouraging. I'll go lefty for awhile and see if that helps.

I'll go lefty for awhile and see if that helps. I hope righty doesn't get jealous or develop some esteem issues over this.

I thought you where a lefty....oh,I get it.Either way I hope it gets better and the pain go's away.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

Disco-Balls

You know what's a real recurring disease of this forum?
SPAM! SPAM! SPAM!

im jerking off and taking a shit

Trendynitis

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Don't Be Stupid Unless You Want To

...while sitting on a window sill?

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

A bean burrito is sitting in my stomach like a rock

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Good writing is clear writing.

Jammed Crap Detector

Titone's Syndrome

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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

You are a mindreader!

Unwanted Mental Image Displays

In the long distant past, in a dark dark period of my life known as "the marrage years" I found myself asking the question: why does it hurt when I pee? I made a discreet visit to the VD Clinic, and was told I had Non Specific Urethritis, due to some kind of chemical reaction between my wife (shudder) an myself. I went home and had to invite my wife (gag) to come to the VD Clinic for treatment, I did not explain the reason rapidly enough and received a violent response, shrieked accusations of adultary, cups and saucers hurled, plates smashed, fantastic drama, some minor police intervention (and no youtube). Anyway some antibiotics and special cream for her (heave) butt rash and everyone was fine. To this day she (wretch) vehemently denies ever having visited a VD Clinic, let alone having NSU......good times, good times.....

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Hey Punk, where you goin' with those two votes in your hand?

I can't stop coming here.

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The way I see it Barry, this should be a very dynamite show.

It's a virus

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Hey Punk, where you goin' with those two votes in your hand?

I have a mild case of Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helio-Ophthalmic Outburst Syndrome. In other words, sometimes when I walk out into bright sunshine from a dark room it causes me to sneeze!

That sounds similiar to Uncontrolled Anal Release, but from the opposite end with less spray...

I've had that all my life. I thought it was a normal thing.

Well after two months of physical therapy I'm happy to report my shoulder and neck feel fine. As long as I was seeing the Doctor I figure I'd also address my painful left heel/achilles that I'd been experiencing for the last two and one-half years. The MD refers me to a Podiatrist and the Podiatrist informed me that I have...voila...

HAGLUND'S DEFORMITY

Haglund's Deformity is basically extra bone growth at the back of your heel that can aggravate your achilles tendon and bursa when stressed. So I'm into my 4th week of therapy for that though I think I need to stop after seeing my first bill (I thought my insurance would cover more).

Also had a colonoscopy last week and had a few polyps removed. I feel so healthy now I think I could fly to the Moon.

So what happened to the old KillUgly? Did you get some kind of transplant?

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The way I see it Barry, this should be a very dynamite show.

Around three years ago a dear friend of mine had a colonoscopy, amongst other tests and got a 100% clean bill of health....he died as a result of bowel cancer two weeks ago, aged 45.

He went through multiple surgeries, intestinel foreshortining, disconnected poop schute, colostomy bag the whole nine yards, countless rounds of chemo over a couple of years, eventually Dave decided enough was enough, he stopped all the medication except for the morphine and let cancer take it's course.

Dave paid to have the original test's done at reputedly one of the finest private hospitals in the land, and he still got screwed, in the arse (ass)

If and when I'm forced to throw myself at the mercy of the health providers of my town, I will be getting a "SECOND OPINION" regardless of the initial result.

I believe I heard (read saw) that FZ may have given the same advice?

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Hey Punk, where you goin' with those two votes in your hand?

Tickled your fancy did it now?

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

First time in awhile that I had a woman tell me to take my pants off and lay down on the table.