Zappa.com

You should make something with 'Honey, don't you want a man like me?'

'He was the Playboy Type (he smoked a pipe)
His fav'rite phrase was "OUTA-SITE!"
He had an Irish Setter

It was a singles bar, a Tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the Bump together'

etc.

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"bit of nostalgia for the old folks."

Oh, they'll all be featured here at some stage, Lumpy, in this magical theater of glamor and impeccable taste...

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

FEATURE #70

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

What a charming thread....

the drinks are cheap.it must be ladies night

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Arf you out of your fucking mind.

Nice Cleon, I think it should go... The Drinks were cheap, It was Ladies Night...

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Here is a fine bookmark to find lyric quotes, with Flat's permission...

http://globalia.net/donlope/fz/lyrics/index.html

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Charmed, I'm sure! ... and nice pic, cleon!

FEATURE #71

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

HAH! Flatus, you're almost running a close second to slime.oofytv.set in the graphux department! (Slime is still a tough act to follow, b'lieve me!)

--Bat

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http://s9.photobucket.com/user/GOConnor/library/Facebook/Justin%20Bieber%20and%20You

Oh, fer sure, Bat - slime droozles graphical wonderment, no question ... tho' of course the dear boy does have the advantage of NASA-funded hardware as opposed to my poor-ass kerosene-driven potato cuts & Milton Bradley crayons...

FEATURE #72

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

LOL

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And just to let you all know what a witty raconteur I am, I should tell you that just prior to posting the pic of Betty Grable above, I made the last-second decision to add a second bubble to also have her minge saying, "Not me, not me!" - thus revealing the sad fact that her pubis did not receive the benefit of a similar hair-do. For some technical reason, the edit did not go through successfully, and so a great "director's cut" is lost forever to the movie-going public. Ah, me...

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

FEATURE #73

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

Well how about that? After 12 hours or so of committee meetings, the Hays Commission passes it after all! Wowie zowie!

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

FEATURE #74

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

FEATURE #75

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

The enquiring young mind of The Forum Killed Arkay tossed & turned in its rumpled bed last night, fretting over whose stinky finger is crammed up the quivering quim of the young lady in FEATURE #74 above. The answer is: a young Rex Harrison, star of such delights as My Fair Lady and Doctor Dolittle. For his unfailing devotion to the world of Hollywood glamo(u)r, rk is awarded tonight's first prize of 2 cartons of popcorn and a demi-john of Kia-Ora.

And so, frame-by-frame, we move glamo(u)rously on to:

FEATURE #76

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

Thank you sir! Can't wait to get the goods!

In return I would like to present you with your own homemade Aluminum (aluminium in the UK?) Finger Award for excellence in Zappa CC Detournement!

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Don't Be Stupid Unless You Want To

Ha! Yeah, rk - "a-LOO-mi-num" and "al-yoo-MIN-ee-um"! We're totally different species, ain't we? I am deeply hono(u)red by the award - does that now make me a Tin Man, like
, or like ?

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

FEATURE #77

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

The best laid plans... (or, Confessions of a failed movie-maker)

Arse! I'd been looking around for a very specific pic I had in mind for a spiffy new feature I'd planned. It would've been so classy. I realised, however, that I had a very slim chance of actually finding that pic, so rather than completely waste the idea, I decided to run a cheesey little competition here to offer you all some good, clean family fun. I planned to announce it with words along the lines of: "If Flatulus had found his desired pic of Yossarian sitting on a toilet, which 7 words would he have been saying? Clue: These words are a mutated version of a line from a song on the You Are What You Is album." The correct answer to the conundrum would have been: "Find you Aldridge and take a dump!" D'you see? - the star of the Catch-22 movie, Alan Aldridge, sitting on a toilet and taking a dump. Cleverly transposing the words "a bridge" with the name "Aldridge", and ingeniously exchanging the word "jump" for "dump". It would've been simply hilarious, don't you think? Then, of course, I remembered that the actor's name is Alan Arkin, not Aldridge - so the whole point of the shelved feature and subsequent replacement competition was rendered completely pointless. Arse. So what's the point of me telling you all this (and wasting several forests-worth of cyber trees to publish it) when nothing ever came of the idea? Well, to be honest, I quite enjoy talking to strange people, and the voices in my head seem to be quiescent at this moment in time...

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

Pretty sneaky... Of course we pronounce aluminum differently, but its still the same element! I suspect trickery! Up until now, Aluminum Man has been able to keep his identity secret. Up until now!

Sure, hes cool:


Unless you actually meet him (you?): Also as viewed with X-Ray Spex:


Of course that was in the natural flatural state, but Aluminum Man and Mrs. A do have powers to alter their shape in several ways:






A look at your house?









orrrrrr.... maybe a friend or relative?










Lastly... one more shot of Rex Harrison:

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Don't Be Stupid Unless You Want To

Phew! Don't take up much space in the auditorium, does he, that Arkay fella?

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )

Not only that, its totally off-topic!

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Don't Be Stupid Unless You Want To

FEATURE #78

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Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy imaginary diseases (Psalms 103:3 )