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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2004 7:00 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:29 am 
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[quote author=jaypfunk link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=75#80 date=12/17/04 at 09:00:14]<br>Image<br>[/quote]<br><br>OMG!! That is terrible, but hilarious.  ;D ;D

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2004 8:52 am 
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OK, here's the deal.  It appears that you folks have been batting this one around since january-04 and no one seems to have grasped the conceptual continuity behind "Suicide Chump". <br><br>Once upon a time in a land just South of Charlotte North Carolina lived a sleazy TV preacher and his pudgy little princess.  They were known to you and me as Jim and Tammy Fay.  They made a nationally televised career (and built a theme park while in the process) bilking hundreds of millions of dollars from tens of millions of those less intelligent than themselves.  They used the old  "I have the ear of God and you don't" con and in no time flat had enough money to literally air condition the doghouse in Palm Springs, CA.  <br><br>Well as all good things must come to an end, so too did this little charade.  Allegations of Rape (by a buxom beauty we'll call Jessica for the sake of this discussion), criminal wrongdoing, conspiracy to commit fraud, fraud, tax evasion, you get the picture.  <br><br>Well Tammy Faye got a new husband and a lame TV show and the Right Reverend Jim went to the Gray Bar Hotel.  While in the pokey, Reverend Jim who was Jonesing for a publicity fix, decided that if he attempted to take his own life, maybe the courts would have mercy on his rotten-to-the-core soul and either release him (cause he was sorry he cheated all those stupid people) or he would go down in history as a martyr for the religious right.  He didn’t want to mess his face up in the process because if he did, we wouldn’t know who he was.  He would be just another dead guy in jail.  But like everything else Jim undertook, he fucked his attempt at suicide up and therefore became the poster boy for the sport of chumps, A.K.A. failed suicide attempts.  <br><br>While we’re on the topic of gutless cowardly ways to die, didn’t Kurt “Heroin Boy” Cobain  choose this out?  Oh yeah, that’s right, he was from Seattle so it’s cool!  Yeah, right!<br><br>


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Dec 17, 2004 9:08 am 
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[quote author=RDNZL-O link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=75#82 date=12/17/04 at 10:52:33]OK, here's the deal.  It appears that you folks have been batting this one around since january-04 and no one seems to have grasped the conceptual continuity behind "Suicide Chump". <br><br>Once upon a time in a land just South of Charlotte North Carolina lived a sleazy TV preacher and his pudgy little princess.  They were known to you and me as Jim and Tammy Fay.  They made a nationally televised career (and built a theme park while in the process) bilking hundreds of millions of dollars from tens of millions of those less intelligent than themselves.  They used the old  "I have the ear of God and you don't" con and in no time flat had enough money to literally air condition the doghouse in Palm Springs, CA.  <br><br>Well as all good things must come to an end, so too did this little charade.  Allegations of Rape (by a buxom beauty we'll call Jessica for the sake of this discussion), criminal wrongdoing, conspiracy to commit fraud, fraud, tax evasion, you get the picture.  <br><br>Well Tammy Faye got a new husband and a lame TV show and the Right Reverend Jim went to the Gray Bar Hotel.  While in the pokey, Reverend Jim who was Jonesing for a publicity fix, decided that if he attempted to take his own life, maybe the courts would have mercy on his rotten-to-the-core soul and either release him (cause he was sorry he cheated all those stupid people) or he would go down in history as a martyr for the religious right.  He didn’t want to mess his face up in the process because if he did, we wouldn’t know who he was.  He would be just another dead guy in jail.  But like everything else Jim undertook, he fucked his attempt at suicide up and therefore became the poster boy for the sport of chumps, A.K.A. failed suicide attempts.  <br><br>While we’re on the topic of gutless cowardly ways to die, didn’t Kurt “Heroin Boy” Cobain  choose this out?  Oh yeah, that’s right, he was from Seattle so it’s cool!  Yeah, right!<br><br>[/quote]<br><br>Well, the song was performed at least as early as 1978, which was at least 11 years before Jimmy and his homosexual glances went to jail.<br><br>But if he tried and failed to kill himself, he is definitely a Suicide Chump.  <br><br>I just think it's unlikely FZ was thinking about this incident when he wrote the song 11 years before it happened.<br><br>VCF  <br>

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:35 am 
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[quote author=jimmie d link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=75#80 date=01/17/06 at 08:27:46]The Supreme Court on Tuesday upheld Oregon's one-of-a-kind physician-assisted suicide law, rejecting a Bush administration attempt to punish doctors who help terminally ill patients die.[/quote]<br><br>Finally, a place where I can be treated as well as a dog by the medical community.

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 2:47 pm 
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If you have Joe's Xmasage then skip to 2:30 in The Uncle Frankie Show and you will perhaps hear the beginnings of the Suicide Chump story.

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 12:15 pm 
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dont make me wait till tomorrow ;D


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:28 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 5:40 am 
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[quote author=swiftkicknow link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=75#81 date=01/17/06 at 08:35:44]<br><br>Finally, a place where I can be treated as well as a dog by the medical community. [/quote]<br><br>Amen to that. My Mom who is a devout Catholic during the '90s supported Dr. Kevorkian by attending several rallies in Detroit in support of assisted suicide. I prefer the term 'Self Deliverance' which is used by The Hemlock Society.  8)<br>

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2006 3:12 am 
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People that kill themselves should go fuck themselves...However,one suicide scene I kinda dig is that of Vincent van Gogh-you know,the artist.Ever hear of him?As the suicide story goes,He was tired of posting his art on the Zappa forum so he went to Spain,drank alot of absinth & shot himself in the tummy so it would take him like 36 hours to die & smoke his pipe & say goodbye to his brother & doctor...

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 9:55 am 
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[quote author=Zardoz link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=15#20 date=07/07/04 at 04:52:15]<br><br>Since I'm the resident railroader I'll elaborate on this subject. You don't need to go through all that trouble which is literaly impossible to accomplish even on a slow moving train. Just step out in the middle of the tracks as the train approaches, or hide your head and sit on the rail as the man did to me on Jan 21st. Hey, just my first locomotive weighs 400,000 lbs not even getting in to the other engines and the weight of the train itself. Even as I'm approaching and seeing what is transpiring, I'll go through the motion of locking up the brakes and seeing it'll still take me anywhere from 1 mile to 1 1/2 miles to stop the inevitable will still occur. No pain, it's quick the downside the poor train crews life is now permanently changed forever. That is selfish to involve someone else in ones demise. That is a "Suicide Chump".  :-/<br>[/quote]<br>


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2006 10:02 am 
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..we thought someone had tossed another cinder block off the overpass.BOOM!! off the top of the engine  we saw her skirt as it passed the side of the unit ..she popped out at the rear of the train..a total mess..but not dead...Sunday Morning 5:30 am...."find you a bridge and take a jump"...


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:03 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2006 1:18 am 
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If you get the blues and you wanna shoot yourself in the head,<br>It's alright, it's alright, go ahead.<br><br>Do the monkey, do the pony, do the slop (?), do the boogaloo twist,<br>Cut your throat, cut your throat, cut your wrist.<br>When you tire of worldly toil,<br>Shuffle off your mortal coil, <br>Turn your body back to soil,<br>It's ok! It's ok!<br><br>If you get hung up, hang yourself up by your neck,<br>What the hell, what the hell, what the heck.<br><br>--- Suicide Song - Loudon Wainwright 111


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2006 11:34 pm 
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[quote author=Uncle Bernie link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=90#92 date=02/02/06 at 03:18:20]<br>Loudon Wainwright III[/quote]-What happened to Loudon Wainwright the 3rd,(not that it makes any difference)-is he still alive?

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 12:44 am 
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[quote author=zzyrch link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=90#93 date=02/04/06 at 01:34:11]<br>-What happened to Loudon Wainwright the 3rd,(not that it makes any difference)-is he still alive?[/quote]<br><br>I think it makes a difference to HIM. Yes, he's still alive and kicking. He has a current album out, released last year "Here Come The Choppers".<br><br>Image


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:20 am 
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[quote author=Uncle Bernie link=board=legends;num=1088199016;start=90#94 date=02/04/06 at 02:44:28]<br><br>I think it makes a difference to HIM. Yes, he's still alive and kicking. He has a current album out, released last year "Here Come The Choppers".<br><br>Image[/quote]<br>Cool.

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:12 pm 
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There are still people who appreciate Loudon Wainwright III,I'm sure.Maybe I'm one of them who still digs his folkster-comedic genius.He is good with the twelve-string guitar & singing & writing.But isn't he a one-hit wonder ('Dead Skunk') doing small-club engagements to survive? -I guess this beats a blank but nevertheless is a shame...

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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2006 5:36 pm 
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someway out of yer ;Dwho needs info when you on bowerd time :-*


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 6:28 am 
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3 Female Suicide Bombers Die in Failed Attacks in Nigeria

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BAUCHI, Nigeria — Three women wearing explosive vests blew up near Maiduguri in an apparent failed suicide bombing attack against Nigeria's beleaguered northeastern city, police said Thursday.

Dozens of people died in suicide bombings in Maiduguri last week, all blamed on the extremist Boko Haram group, which regularly attacks the city as part of its six year battle to impose Islamic law in the north.

Despite the attacks, officials announced this week that Maiduguri International Airport will soon reopen. It has been closed since a December 2013 attack on a nearby air base.

Those traveling to the far northeast have had to use dangerous roads prone to attack by the Islamic extremists.

A police bomb expert investigating Tuesday's blasts said the women's bodies were cut in half by the explosions, which took place near the highway leading to the city. He spoke on condition of anonymity because he is not supposed to give information to reporters.

The expert said most bombs strapped to girls and women are triggered by remote devices, which they have no control over.

Boko Haram has kidnapped hundreds of girls in the course of their campaign.

Police commissioner John Opadokun confirmed that the three women bombers died on a mission to attack the city.

The bomb expert said three other women died last week when their explosive vests detonated near the Maimalari Barracks, on the outskirts of Maiduguri.

Eight soldiers were killed on June 4 when a suicide car bomb hit a checkpoint outside the same barracks.

Buhari was meeting Thursday in Abuja with leaders of neighboring countries about strengthening a multinational force fighting Boko Haram.

Only Cameroon's President Paul Biya was absent, lending strength to local reports of bad blood between him and Buhari. Biya failed to attend Buhari's May 29 inauguration and Buhari visited Niger and Chad the following week but not Cameroon.

Yet another old jimmie d thread. 8)


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 Post subject: Re: Suicide Chump
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 6:38 am 
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Mr. Nice Guy wrote:
3 Female Suicide Bombers Die in Failed Attacks in Nigeria

Why have six womens attempts failed? Maybe they couldn't go through with it?
I believe (no evidence....) that these girls / women are forced (or at the very least coerced / brainwashed) into doing it.
At the end of the day, islam is oppressive towards women, so go figure people.
TT

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