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We all still miss Frank - though we can`t even imagine how big the loss is to his family!!!<br>But, how did you get to know about Franks death and what did you feel? How was your reaction? What did you do to compensate?<br> <br>I was going to start doing demos for my own band that day in Dec. 1993. I was alone sitting at the breakfast table when a guy I never met before came to visit one of my tennants. He embraced me, saying he knew me being a big fan and said Frank passed away last night. I didn`t want to believe it. I had heard of his cancer, had seen him the year before in Frankfurt, but I still hoped...<br>That night I watched the news, and all the stations I turned to were at least mentioning the sad news. (You should know, in germany he meant a lot to some of the left-winged people of the 60`s and 70`s, and it is those people, who run some of the media these days.) I imediately cried. I put on Outside Now, Watermelon, Packard Goose, the wonderful Inca Roads solo, I wanted to hear it all at one time. Later I winded up drinking in an Irish Pub(!) where a single man was singing to his guitar. Suddenly he said, "this song is from one of my greatest inspirations, a great under-estimated musician who died yesterday." Then he played Bobby Brown. My freind and me were shouting "Hi-yo Silver!" at the point where Ike does it on YCDTOSA 3, and the guy was really happy. Then he tried to do Keep it Greasy and Joe`s Garage. Nobody but the three of us knew the songs, but what the fuck... <br> :'(

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Good Lobna!

I remember feeling a deep sad feeling of loss when I read about it. I kept thinking: 'damn, the last great satiricus (sorry Dutch word) means Satire-artist) and truely original composer, great musician and iconoclast of modern rock has departed us. Off cause, he left us with a great legacy of his work. But it took me a long time to get rid of the sad feeling.

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out of the fryin' pan into the fire

i felt........empty.<br>then i played Frank all day.

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Knirps for moisture!

I never got to mourn "properly" at the time because I was too young to be aware of FZ at 8/9 years... I'm still now mourning his death. Nothing can satisfactorily describe what I feel about FZ, and he has gone untimely - not too unlike other people I admire.  :'(<br><br>I have to grow up in a wasteland today - spend my youth with nothing meaningful or redeeming about the world today. Damn.

My birthday is December third and I had bought Hot Rats on that day.  It was the first Zappa CD (or anything) I had ever purchased.  Until then, I had seen most of the videos (borrowed from my guitar teacher) and was rapidly growing enamored of this bearded Italian sort of person who I used to hate (I was raised Catholic and the first thing I ever saw was The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing on SNL).<br>I found out on Monday at school that he had died on the fourth and was rather creeped-out and majorly disappointed.  I didn't even know that he was sick.  I really felt (and feel) ripped off that I never had a chance to see him live.<br> :'(

Like I lost a dear Uncle.  :'(  In fact, I think I made mention of that in my sympathy card I sent the Family.  <br><br>I still cry about it.

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Free at last, free at last, great googleymoogley I am free at last!!!

[quote author=white_person link=board=legends&num=1031229228&start=0#4 date=09/05/02 at 10:45:06]<br>I was in bed, slowly slipping into sleep, with my bedside radio tuned to the local news radio station, playing softly. Whenever a "big story" breaks, this station alerts you with a loud series of shrill tones before the news item is read. Only half-conscious at the time, I heard the shrill tones, then the announcer informed me of Frank's passing. I shot out of bed, a lump formed in my throat, and I started crying as I headed towards my stereo. I stayed up all night, chain smoking and listening to Frank until I had to go to work the next morning.<br>After work, I got together with some friends who appreciated Frank, and we listened to Frank until I had to go to work the next morning. I didn't  sleep for about three days. One of the worst periods of my life.<br>[/quote]<br>Wow Whitey!  If you substituted Frank's name with John Lennon's, then you have described excatly how I remember that horrible day!<br><br>Fuck, I can't hold back the tears!    :'(<br><br>

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Free at last, free at last, great googleymoogley I am free at last!!!

I was living in West Haven CT when FZ died. I saw it on the TV news. Then I went to my room and did something I hardly ever did - I listened to the radio. I fiddled with the dial and heard someone saying something close to:"This just in, Frank Zappa has died after losing his long battle with prostate cancer. We'll bring you more details if they become available." After a long silent pause, the guy on the radio continued - "I'm sorry, I'm so suddenly shocked by this sad news. I'm going to cancel the music I had originally planned for the program, because there's only one thing to do now. We're going to play the music of Frank Zappa." The first track this guy played was BLESSED RELIEF, and hours later this college station was still playing FZ. They played everything from PEDRO'S DOWRY to DINAH-MOE HUMM to G-SPOT TORNADO to TITTIES & BEER. They played huge hunks of LUMPY GRAVY. They played some of the most radio-unfriendly parts of THING-FISH. They played pieces from what was his newest album at the time THE YELLOW SHARK.<br>I listened to about 8 hours of FZ on that station that day. And I felt sad - yet thankful that I had discovered the joy of his music years ago. It was a very dark and dismal day indeed.<br><br>Suddenly life just seemed strangely different knowing that Frank was gone.

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And if you don't know by now
The truth of what I'm tellin' you
Then surely, I have failed
somehow...

Like most fans I was well aware Frank was very sick. It really hit me when he could not come to NY for the Zappa's Universe shows. Later on, Playboy did an interview with him and I saw the photos on him in the magazine (only Zappa would get me to read an article in playboy) and it was clear the man was very sick. It was then I became aware he was not going to pull through. The day I heard he was gone I was truly affected.More that I would have ever expected. I miss a man I never met. It is strange but it shows the impact his gift had upon the world and his fans.

>I was just getting into FZ in the summer of '93. An older dude I worked with always had his Zappa tapes crankin' at work. I was 19 then, I only had the Apostrophe/OS two-fer disc at the time.<br> >While at work I used to listen to Howard Stern everyday on an AM station in Buffalo. The morning after he died, he talked about Frank quite a bit, and did a nice eulogy for him. It didn't hit me 'til later that day, that Frank was really gone. :'( Although Stern didn't appreciate FZ's music(Stern has the worst taste in music! ), he loved Frank as a person,reminisced about the times he interviewed him, and talked about what a great individual FZ was.<br> >A few months later, Stern had Gail on the show(can't remember if it was by phone or in person). It was a good interview, wish I could find it somewhere.<br> >But to answer the question; I was sad but didn't ball my eyes out & go into a depression or anything. If at the time I knew more about FZ, it would have probably saddened me more.<br>

I didn't find out about it till the 6th.  A friend called me to ask how I was taking the news about Frank.  I said 'what news?'<br>As soon as I got off the phone, I went out an bought the newspaper and read the tiny little news blurp about Frank's passing.  I still have that clipping today.<br><br>Oddly enough, I remember Dec 3 very well.  It's my fathers birthday and I was over at my parents visiting.  I was feeling kind of down as I had just moved away from home 6 months prior, and was finding the 'real world' to be expensive and somewhat stressful.  On top of that, Christmas was soon approaching.  Anyway, I mentioned to my mom that I didn't even have enough money to buy Frank Zappa's Yellow Shark which had recently been released.  During that conversation I remember *really* wanting that CD.  The desire must have been obvious, cause my mom handed me $20 as I was leaving and told me to stop by the record store on my way home.  I did just that and bought the only copy the store had.  The day went from being bleak to joy as I sat for my first listen.  That CD made my weekend.  Then the sad news that followed the first of the week.  It still makes me sad to think of all the music that will never be heard.  I miss Frank's social commentary almost as much as I miss his music.  <br><br>T

Well, I knew it was coming, but I was shocked when I saw the paper announcing his death. I got stoned and played Hot Rats and Chunga's Revenge. Then I cried :'(. I couldn't listen to Franks' music for a full year without feeling like crap. I had hundreds of Zappa concert tapes, and I just boxed them up and put them in three closets where they sat for years. Well all things must pass, and this funk finally disappeared. ::) About all I listen to now is Zappa musik and I collect FZ paraphanalia on ebay, so in my house, the guy's still here.

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Live Music, Frank's Music, The Best Music!

Well,I heard at a strange time in my life when I was working all night shifts.<br>   It was while I was getting ready for work,and it pretty much floored me! I went to work heart broken...more than sad...someone else here said they felt "empty".That would be a good word for it..I moped around work that night,and only admitted what the problem was to the kinder souls there.I don't think people understood.<br>    Frank represented a way of thought for me,he did what he did because he wanted to do it ,not to impress anyone(or at least to me it seemed that way).He was a lucky guy that had a great alternate view of American life,and could express it and present it to an ,largely,uncaring public on his own terms.HE WAS A HERO TO THE OUTCAST THINKERS OF THE WORLD,along with being a greatly talented musician! At the time I thought it was just a few of us "real crazy fans" that felt this way.But since then I discovered the Czech band "The Plastic People" ,and heard of their plight(and that Zappa was one of their main heros),I found that he was of historic relevance to other countries,too!<br>     At the time I just felt real remorse that one of my idols representing,and defending alternative(READ "FREE")thinking was swept away into the past....I've missed his(new) music,opinions,and humour greatly ever since.

I CRIED !!!!!<br>I was a loyal fan from 1971 untill his death....<br>I had send the big Parool frontpage photo of Frank with hat to Mike Keneally and he was very grateful for that!!!!

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WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO ALL THE FUN IN THE WORLD?

I found out on the 6th that he left on the 4th. It was 5:00am my freind Andy called and woke me up and read the top of the Palm Beach Post...I hung up and the tears began to fall.I knew Frank was sick but I still had to see the headline so my beige blandish god could certify it for me. I then went back home and turned on the tube and just as the slime began oozing out it was interupted by some of the sincerest music to ever come out of that mass mind controlling tool of big brother! I was not going to work that day...I called my brother and told him the news ..he understood. Later I got a call from an old freind BIG STEVE!..Had'nt heard from him in ten years...He had to go through alot of lumpy gravy to get my phone number! The power of Frank! If I read too many of these accounts of how ya all felt.. I will cry. I hope that says something about how I felt that day..."I don't ever want to feel like I did that day...take me to the place I love"...the place where ZAPPA MUSIC is as prevelant as beethovan and mozart! Because Frank to me takes the place of a million mozarts! In fact I don't care if I never hear mozart again! " Its crap!"...................................Pete Weintraub

I was in the midst of dealing with my first child, who was 6 months old at the time, & a shitty job situation. Like everyone else, I knew the end was near, but the actual news just bottomed me out. I hadn't dealt with the death of many close relatives at the time, so I frankly just didn't know how to deal with it then. I believe I just got drunk that night & listened to "Watermelon in Easter Hay" & the like, & got on with my life.<br><br>As I get older, I appreciate what was lost & miss him more. I really want to hear what Frank would have had to say about the Clinton years, & the last year especially, but I can pretty much figure it out from the old recordings. Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. <br><br>Part of getting older is learning to accept some things, it was time for Frank's vibration in the big note to come to an end, but what all his wavelengths did! And how those ripples should spread out!<br><br>JW Foust

I only heard about it 2 days later. The saddest thing. There were parts of my life when all I listened to was FZ. I'm not very found of his sex crazed area but I do respect the man. I felt like the last musician on earth had died. Since that time, we're buried in mass stupidity. Even today I still grieve. I miss his music and his point of view. Too bad he didn't have enough time to make more music in an explorative way (à la Varese ?). :'(  

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No doubt, we're doomed !
For a real Democracy: abolish Electoral College

on the sunday evening (in Europe) when Frank died, I had a the strange feeling, that something very bad had happened. At the time, there was the release of Yellow Shark and the new picture of Frank with his full beard. He looked for me more healthy and I had hope. I was aware from the beginning of his illness, and there was always an up and down, like happy for the yellow shark performances and desperate because Frank left Frankfurt after september 19 due to his sickness. <br>On monday morning my alarm clock woke me up and i will never forget the words "... died in Los Angeles." There was no mention of Frank, but i knew at once, that Frank was dead and why i had this feeling of grief the day before. <br>It was a shock and many people I know phoned me and tryed to console me knowing i am a Zappa fan. <br><br>Still now, when I write this down, i feel some sort of a loss.

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It is fucking great to be alive !!!

<br>[quote author=Man_from_Utopia link=board=legends&num=1031229228&start=15#24 date=09/19/02 at 18:20:35]<br>On Dec. 21, I play his music all day long. This year, on December 4th through the 21st, why don't all of you do the same thing? I would mean so much, to all involved. If you want, I will post a reminder. I am sure most of you will remember anyway. Thank you.<br>[/quote]<br><br>I definitely will.  :)

Tremendous sadness coupled with emptiness.<br>