Zappa.com

Here's a bit of cultcha for youse<br><br>AUSSIE POEM<br><br>Of course I love ya darling<br>You're a bloody top notch bird<br>And when I say you're gorgeous<br>I mean every single word<br>So ya bum is on the big side<br>I don't mind a bit of flab<br>It means that when I'm ready<br>There's something there to grab<br>So your belly isn't flat no more<br>I tell ya, I don't care<br>So long as when I cuddle ya<br>I can get my arms around there<br>No sheila who is your age<br>Has nice round perky breasts<br>They just give in to gravity<br>But I know ya did ya best<br>I'm tellin' ya the truth now<br>I never tell ya lies<br>I think its very sexy<br>That you've got dimples on ya thighs<br>I swear on me Nanna's grave now<br>The moment that we met<br>I thought you was as good as<br>I was ever gonna get<br>No matter what you look like<br>I'll always love ya dear<br>Now shut up while the Footy's on<br>And get me another beer.

Well I guess this thread got the response it deserved.<br><br>C'mon people, no more pomes out there?<br><br>And I thought this place would have more culture than a penicillin factory.

Not even a dirty ditty?<br><br>Uh oh, whats that strange feeling I just had.......Help! I'm a LORD.

[quote author=Uncle Bernie link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=0#2 date=08/28/03 at 17:21:58] Help! I'm a LORD.[/quote]<br><br>Better than being a ROCK  or a COP. ;D<br><br>Actually, I have a song my best friend and I wrote. He came up with the odd-numbered lines, and I came up with the even-numbered ones. Now if I could just find the piece of paper it's written on... Ah. Here it is. <br><br>Sink is leaking<br>Wonder why<br>Potatoes blinking<br>Makes me cry<br>Soup is boiling<br>So's my hate<br>Leaves me feeding<br>My fashion plate<br><br>Do what you can, can what you do<br>I'll leave the rest up to you<br><br><br>It's kinda stupid, but it works because we said it works. ;D<br>

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It's like that old song, “Blomp Blomp-a Noop Noop A-Noop Noop Noop.”

[quote author=suterb link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=0#3 date=08/28/03 at 17:31:19]<br><br>It's kinda stupid, but it works because we said it works. ;D<br>[/quote]<br>Hey, don't worry, it's classier than mine.    ;D

[quote author=Uncle Bernie link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=0#2 date=08/28/03 at 17:21:58] Not even a dirty ditty?<br><br>Uh oh, whats that strange feeling I just had.......Help! I'm a LORD.[/quote]<br>Hey!  Congrats, L.O.R.D. Uncle Bernie!   <br><br>In honor of your Lordship, I'm posting a poem...OK?  Just to make you happy that yet another poem has been posted in this thread.  :)<br><br>I already posted this poem in the Forum before (the original "beautiful" thread) but it's so tacky that it bears repeating.  ;)<br><br>I, His Guitar <br> <br>I, the lone guitar, lean against a wall and wait <br>For someone to stroke me and, my music, appreciate. <br>Let him come and tune me -- pull my strings, my nerves, up tight. <br>Let him smooth on my strap around him -- slide in just right. <br>Please let him hold me and stroke me to a rhythm. <br>Let him lose his mind to me, let my moans echo in him. <br>For, without his passionate fingers touching me so gently, <br>I'm just a lone guitar leaning motionless and empty.<br><br>[center]And...LOOK!  I'm not alone at ALL in<br>making a correlation between Guitars and Women!<br><br>[/center]<br><br>;D<br><br>Gypsy Moon Dream<br>

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[quote author=GypsyDream link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=0#5 date=08/28/03 at 21:55:01]<br>Hey!  Congrats, L.O.R.D. Uncle Bernie!   <br><br>In honor of your Lordship, I'm posting a poem...OK?  Just to make you happy that yet another poem has been posted in this thread.  :)<br><br>I already posted this poem in the Forum before (the original "beautiful" thread) but it's so tacky that it bears repeating.  ;)<br><br>I, His Guitar <br> <br>Abridged)<br><br>[/quote]<br>Thanks for your support, Gyp. My that is a sexy little number. I remember reading it in the other thread, and its worth another airing here.

Rednecks<br><br>Rednecks to the left of me<br>Rednecks to the right<br><br>Rednecks in the taverns<br>Looking for a fight.<br><br>Rednecks to the front of me<br>Rednecks up above<br><br>Rednecks screaming "Fuck you!"<br>To the ones they love.<br><br>Rednecks with their cars on blocks<br>Up on their lawn.<br><br>Rednecks singing drinking songs<br>In the peaceful dawn.<br><br>Yes rednecks to the front of me<br>But not to the back.<br><br>That's where the quacamole queen lives in the old mansion and they are all kinda hippies and there are lots of drugs and wierd goings on all night long and kids all over the place that nobody knows the heck who they belong to and people living in vans and I'm not really complaining but they sure don't fit in the neigborhood, hmm just like us, think I'll go upstairs and play some Zappa real loud or maybe some Residents.  Thats the facts!<br><br>Congrats, your Lordship on your attaining venerableness.<br><br>Sabrina<br><br><br>

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[img width=211 height=180]http://home.hetnet.nl/~sebastiaan2466/PLAATJESMAP/handsignals4.JPG[/img]

[quote author=sabrina2 link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=0#7 date=08/28/03 at 22:43:36]Congrats, your Lordship on your attaining venerableness.<br><br>Sabrina<br>[/quote]<br>Thanks......I think (moves quickly to click on dictionary.com}

dear L.O.R.D. bernie now....<br><br>on this very special occasion i dedicate the following crappy ditty to nobody else but your lordship.<br>made it once for the old but not forgotten "lymerick" thread, but pls do not mind.<br><br>dinner with drac<br> <br>last night out at the castle of frankenstein <br>i met this totally heartbreaking love of mine <br>he said his name was dracula <br>(boy, his size  was SPECTACULAR) <br>and he would take me home to his secret shrine <br> <br>i laid totally stripped <br>in his own private crypt <br>and was wondering if this was a test-er <br>when he said "may i bite" and i answered "all right" <br>how i desperately fell for the master! <br> <br>at the moment i grabbed for the vaseline <br>(i had seen this one day in a magazine) <br>i noticed that smell and i thought "what the hell" <br>the next moment the place was on fire! <br>(that may happen when you`re tied up to electric wire.) <br> <br>how my lover was fried all crispy and brown <br>i always had thought just the sun <br>brings `em down <br>but that guy must have been an exception <br>so i sat down for dinner <br> with my so-thought-of sinner <br>and ate well til the very last section. <br> <br>how i cry when i recall this back <br>my only one special evening  <br>with drac!

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and i say to myself: what a wonderful world!

[quote author=wowie_zowie link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=0#9 date=08/29/03 at 00:51:21]dear L.O.R.D. bernie now....<br><br>(boy, his size  was SPECTACULAR) <br>[/quote]<br>.........and you thought of me....ahh, I'm touched (all over).<br><br>Thank you my dear, I like it. Its up to your unusual standards       ;D

Ok, since poems doesn't have to rhyme, i'm going to make a improvisation when listening to the yellow shark.<br><br>Ok, how 'bout naming this poem:<br><br>When uncle meat met the yellow shark with a dog breath<br><br>Uncle meat<br>man of all<br>meeting a shark that had the colour of yellow<br>going for the black<br>getting the white<br>uncle meat was worried for the little shark<br>going home <br>going out<br>the shark didn't pay attention when Meat came to him<br>suns go up<br>suns go down<br>but the world of Uncle Meat remains<br>still in his dream 'n fantasy<br>it can be revealed<br>but only if he wants to<br><br>Uncle meat <br>human of all<br>meeting a shark that had the colour of yellow<br>talking discussions about the sea<br>talking discussion about the world<br>Uncle meat wondered when next dream like this would come<br>Uncle meat a man out of meat<br>showing himself to be a man of all<br>going with the yellow shark in a blue park<br>going forward<br>the dreams go backward<br><br>Uncle meat and the yellow shark<br>dines at a resturant so small<br>eating everything from politics to socialists<br>eating the people of little rich<br>drinking the wine that loves you all<br><br>Uncle meat a man of all<br>waking up from his strange dream<br>finding himself a yellow thing laying on the floor<br>a thing that makes him have hope furthermore<br>----------------------------------------------------------------<br><br>Dunno if it sucked deeply, but well, well, that is what came out of my mind for a while.<br><br> -/dr_grogg<br><br>

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Yeah, just as it used to be, but still not.....

seriously, folks..... ;D<br><br>doc does rock!!! go on, my son, fuck rhymes and stuff other people thought of, just do w.r.i.t.e. as you wanna do. its the best to do.<br>we are watching...the development.<br><br>love<br>wowie (and zowie too, shes always delayed)!<br><br>p.s.: lord bernie, its been a pleasure.  

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and i say to myself: what a wonderful world!

[quote author=dr_grogg link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=0#11 date=08/29/03 at 10:35:52] Dunno if it sucked deeply, but well, well, that is what came out of my mind for a while.<br><br> -/dr_grogg<br><br>[/quote]<br>I don't know much about art, but I think its cool.

tazmanian rhapsody<br><br>right outta my window somethings digging the dirt<br>its tazzie the devil in his miniskirt<br>hes furry and dusty and his teeth are all yella<br>hes avoiding a tan so hes got an umbrella<br><br><br>i been asking "hey tazzie, tell me, how is the mud?"<br>then he whirled around six times while shaking his butt<br>i got dizzy when watching the delirious guy<br>but this very moment the werewolf walked by<br><br><br>he was on his way to the groceries but<br>for he never passed by not invading my lot<br>we sat down on my doorstep with a bottle of booze<br>and tazzie immediately untied his shoes<br><br><br>this was followed by socks and his shirt and then<br>finally his pants<br>while the werewolf (his name is gus btw.)<br>and me sang gregorian chants<br><br><br>then some hours later when the sun was just down<br>we heard clapping of hoofs<br>i said "ringos around!" <br>and indeed, just the moment when gus had to fart<br>the man dashed right into my ole backyard<br><br><br>.....to be continued tonite, gotta go now. <br>bring the cattle in. <br><br>yippieayeah!!!<br><br>wowie!<br><br><br>

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and i say to myself: what a wonderful world!

             What To Do While Waiting For The Website To Go Back Online<br><br>       What will I do? Sit and stew? Curse a few? Doo-wacka-doo?<br>        Time sure does slow, not unlike a lava flow. I'll do a do-si-do<br>       Go offline? Why, you swine! What's a-matter---ya lost yer min'?<br>       Ah! Online again at last! I'd love to go to the Forum, but My eyes are at half-mast! My bedtime has past! Sun sure does come up fast!<br><br>                          Thank you and Good Night<br>                                               ;D

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One two, buckle my shoe!

Thanks for the nice comments! <br><br>Nice to hear you like my poem, I am very self-critic at this kinda stuff. <br><br>But I might make another poem in a while, be warned ;D.<br><br> -/dr_grogg<br><br>

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Yeah, just as it used to be, but still not.....

Ok, I got a topic for a new poem now....It is about how a day in my life can look like...sometimes...<br><br>Day of my life<br><br>Laying there in my bed<br>with the colours that exists<br>I feel that I'm not feeling fine<br>but neither do them around me do<br>Feeling red<br>acting blue<br>going yellow<br>thinking green<br>What am i to do with my life<br>noone on the street<br>none at home<br>just little me with the colours in my head<br>everywhere and nowhere<br>overall i feeling fine<br>but underneath it is just a hell<br>the mask i wear is made out of phoniness<br>made out of nothing<br>made out of sadness<br>later in the evening i feel pretty down<br>sitting in the front of some 1's and 0's plus some code<br>why am I sitting here i partial ask myself<br>maybe its my life<br>I don't know if it is that way<br><br>My dreaming is strange<br>I dream of worlds<br>that partial exists but with other content<br>worlds and places I've already seen<br>things I've seen isn't always what I want to see<br>dreaming to do the stuff I want to do in real<br>but it stopped by my own fear<br>fear to do something stupid again<br>oh, no I wont do that mistake again<br>later in the new morning<br>I feel alot better<br>I feel that i might be able to go through this day<br>this cycle is short<br>but comes now and then<br>thats how it is<br>for me in my life<br>------------------------------------------------------------------------<br>Not a real one but based on thoughts I have sometimes...<br><br> -/dr_grogg<br><br>

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Yeah, just as it used to be, but still not.....

tazmanian rhapsody phaze 2<br><br>ringo shot in the air and then turned to me sayin<br>"you been cheatin, ole woman, theres no use in prayin",<br>brother wolf had to vomit and i turned him my back<br>tazzie got it all wrong and bit ringos leg!<br><br>so they kept things a-rolling way down in the mud<br>ridin ringo and tazzie the tazmanian stud<br>gus and me did just watch this til the full moon came up<br>still the fight didnt turn out to this or to that<br><br>....maybe tonite it wont anyway, gotta go out now. <br>kick it, you know. <br>gonna be back later. <br>love,<br>wowie!

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and i say to myself: what a wonderful world!

tazmanian rhapsody phaze 3<br><br>in the moonlight the werewolf remembered his nature<br>grabbed for ringo and turned him to - say - some creature<br>(boy, was this a bloody fight, his guts were spilled all over the place and his brains were found on the rooftop the other day...alright, alright...)<br><br>me and tazzie who now got back onto his feet<br>meanwhile tangoed and twisted along to the beat<br>actually we still do and its no end in sight<br>tazmanian boys may not know how to fight<br>but they know how to boogie and therefore i soon<br>will take tazzie away for a honeymoon!<br><br>                                 the end<br><br>wowie zowie!<br><br><br><br>

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and i say to myself: what a wonderful world!

Ok, I think I have poem in my head now, lemme see I call it:<br><br>World of psychadelic fruits<br><br>A world of fruits<br>fruits made of world<br>many colours<br>few are blind<br>many can see<br>but not always hear<br>planes with cream and ice-cream and blue trees<br>cars made out of water<br>trains made by dirt<br>welcome to the land of psychadelic fruits<br>fruits are here, fruits are there<br>you can't find a human anywhere<br>all around there is mango as police<br>lemons as politicans<br>bananas as lawyers<br>there is a workd for every fruit<br>there is a fruit for every work<br>everyfruit lives together<br>no one fights, they take it cool<br>on the beach there are fruits in the sand<br>in the mall ther are fruits watching for food<br>cars with fruits and their families<br>oh what a happy world it is<br>everywhere there is smiling fruits<br>noones unhappy theres place for everyone<br>"but this worlds to perfect" a master says<br>"we better end it so it will remain a dream"<br><br>There is now no world of fruits<br>everyone died for no reasons at all<br>the world that was so perfect<br>what went wrong?<br>well everyone was happy, thats the answer yes<br>-----------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br>Not maybe toping my first poem that was posted....but I got this in my brain.<br><br> -/dr_grogg<br><br>

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Yeah, just as it used to be, but still not.....

A Horse In Your Head<br>inside my head where the worms eat my brains<br>i hear a noise that goes clippety clop clippety clop<br>the frequency...ever changing, twisting the dial, twsting my brain.<br>inside my head this happens not often<br>but it happens all the same.<br>clippety clop clippety clop the noise drones on<br>my brain does it soften<br>no it does not<br>but the clippety clop clippety clop keeps on going<br>like my sanity..down a drain

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[quote author=TheCentralScrutinizer link=board=legends;num=1062078159;start=15#21 date=08/31/03 at 10:45:03]A Horse In Your Head<br>inside my head where the worms eat my brains<br>i hear a noise that goes clippety clop clippety clop<br>the frequency...ever changing, twisting the dial, twsting my brain.<br>inside my head this happens not often<br>but it happens all the same.<br>clippety clop clippety clop the noise drones on<br>my brain does it soften<br>no it does not<br>but the clippety clop clippety clop keeps on going<br>like my sanity..down a drain[/quote]<br><br>Nice one! Yoú should keep on posting more poems.<br><br> -/dr_grogg<br><br><br>

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Yeah, just as it used to be, but still not.....

I stole this from Mad magazine but can I post it anyway?<br><br>I think that I shall never hear<br>A poem lovelier than a beer<br>The foamy stuff I drink all day<br>Until my memory melts away<br>The stuff that Joe's bar has on tap<br>With golden base and snowy cap<br>Poems are made by fools I fear<br>But only Schlitz can make a beer<br><br> <br><br>

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Sleeping. Mom and dad are sleeping. Sleeping in a jar. The jar is under the bed.