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 Post subject: Theory Of Hell
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:07 am 
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IS HELL EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC?
The following is an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term exam.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Here is the "Bonus Question" on the exam:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Discuss:
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa (a
girlfriend of mine during my Freshman year) that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 8:22 am 
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Can't argue with plain ole logic...and since hell is frozen over...what's Teresa's number :)

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 Post subject: Life In Hell
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 10:21 am 
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 12:02 pm 
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I thought that explanation was incredibly eloquent!
I could easily understand that this individual is a very detailed thoughtful individual.

Thanks for sharing Craig!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 12:27 pm 
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it doesn't matter anyway, as hell is a concept that only exists in the human mind!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 1:01 pm 
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Aaaahhhh. It's been years I haven't been reading The Tale of Theresa Banyan. Funny Urban Legend though.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 1:26 pm 
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This should be called "Theory From Hell". ehehe...

It is like the Witch in Monty Python's Holy Grail (the video that Aspy has posted on the YouTube thread)... Falacies.

Now, don't be surprised when you learn that half of today's valid scientifc theories have the same underlying logics...

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Last edited by Mr_Green_Genes on Tue May 23, 2006 1:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 1:28 pm 
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timm0 wrote:
it doesn't matter anyway, as hell is a concept that only exists in the human mind!


You're going to Hell... - When Yuppies Go To Hell...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 1:53 pm 
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timm0 wrote:
it doesn't matter anyway, as hell is a concept that only exists in the human mind!


That's irrelevant to the gist of the logic that has been iterated in the opening thread.

Of course the concept of hell, which has been proclaimed by many religions, is ridiculous.

The concept of life and how it's been made to be understood is truly one of the most absurd of all philosophies.

Mass culture can be a dangerous thing if no one wants to even try to dissect the theories that have disseminated over the millenia.

This has been a politically paid endorsement for the Libertarian party...


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 Post subject: No One's right!
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 2:38 pm 
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"Pull the blinds on yesterday and it's all so much scarier . . ."
It's No Game, Scary Monsters, David Bowie
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 2:56 pm 
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I used to go to Hell at least once a year just for the great Mtn. biking courses. In the summer its awfully HOT & in Winter its damn COLD.

Problem solved :wink:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 3:05 pm 
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Maroual wrote:
Aaaahhhh. It's been years I haven't been reading The Tale of Theresa Banyan. Funny Urban Legend though.


urban legend or not, it was a well constructed argument that was highly amusing also...most urban legends are shit!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 23, 2006 4:15 pm 
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there is no hell, there's only france.'

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 Post subject: Re: Life In Hell
PostPosted: Thu Jul 08, 2021 7:54 am 
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jimmie d killed the forum wrote:
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 Post subject: Re: Theory Of Hell
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2021 3:53 pm 
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In 1911, Duncan McDougal did an experiment where he hypothesized that the soul has weight. He tested this by weighing people just before and just after they died. His conclusion was that the soul has a weight of about three-quarters of an ounce, or 20 grams.

We can expect 50 million people will die this year. At 20 grams per soul, that works out to a billion grams (roughly a thousand tons).

I don't know what that means; but I like the idea of a thousand tons of soul. Sounds like the best James Brown song ever...

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 Post subject: Re: Theory Of Hell
PostPosted: Fri Jul 09, 2021 10:54 pm 
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^ Was that a soulless discovery

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 Post subject: Re: Theory Of Hell
PostPosted: Fri Jul 16, 2021 4:18 am 
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 Post subject: Re: Theory Of Hell
PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 11:55 am 
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