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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 12:30 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:03 pm 
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arf arf

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hey punk where you going with that golf club in your hand, again.....


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 5:02 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:18 pm 
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^^^^^ hahahahaaaa excellent! ^^^^^

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hey punk where you going with that golf club in your hand, again.....


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 02, 2020 2:09 pm 
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hey punk where you going with that golf club in your hand, again.....


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2020 4:11 pm 
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hey punk where you going with that golf club in your hand, again.....


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 1:00 am 
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hey punk where you going with that golf club in your hand, again.....


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 8:42 pm 
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hey punk where you going with that golf club in your hand, again.....


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 1:14 am 
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hey punk where you going with that golf club in your hand, again.....


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 3:11 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2020 5:50 am 
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Social Distancing Pickup Lines: "Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just glad to be within six feet of me?" "I saw you from across the bar. Stay there." "If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, may I?" "Hey babe, can I ship you a drink?" "The libraries are all closed; can I check you out instead?" "Hey, baby; do you come within six feet of here often?" "Is your name Coronavirus, 'cause you take my breath away!" "Want to have dinner? How's 2022 look for you?" "You're so hot, I'd jump in front of a sneeze for you!" "Hey, girl. I got 2-ply at my place!" "That's one sexy cough!" "Baby, do you need toilet paper, because I can be your Prince Charmin." "Wanna catch Covid the fun way?"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2020 1:30 pm 
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BBP wrote:
Social Distancing Pickup Lines: "Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket or are you just glad to be within six feet of me?" "I saw you from across the bar. Stay there." "If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, may I?" "Hey babe, can I ship you a drink?" "The libraries are all closed; can I check you out instead?" "Hey, baby; do you come within six feet of here often?" "Is your name Coronavirus, 'cause you take my breath away!" "Want to have dinner? How's 2022 look for you?" "You're so hot, I'd jump in front of a sneeze for you!" "Hey, girl. I got 2-ply at my place!" "That's one sexy cough!" "Baby, do you need toilet paper, because I can be your Prince Charmin." "Wanna catch Covid the fun way?"


:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2020 1:34 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2020 4:14 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2020 2:08 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2020 4:14 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 2:36 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:26 pm 
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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it... I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!


Last edited by Melania Trump on Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:28 pm 
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People must not cough near you , they must cough far away .

If you hear someone coughing near you , tell them to....

...far cough .


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:29 pm 
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It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few further local businesses around our Town. The bra manufacturer has gone bust, the specialist in submersibles has gone under, the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers, the suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded, the Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders, the tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road, the bread company has run out of dough, the clock manufacturer has had to wind down and gone cuckoo, the Chinese has been taken away, the shoe shop has had to put his foot down and given his staff the boot and finally the laundrette has been taken to the cleaners!


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:31 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:40 pm 
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What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? – A pimp.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2020 3:43 pm 
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TAOISM: Shit happens.

BUDDIHISM:If shit happens, it isn't really shit.

ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
And, if shit falls in the woods, does it make a sound?

HINDUISM: This shit happened before.

ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

ISLAM II: If shit happens, kill the person(s) responsible.

SHI'ITE ISLAM:Shit must happen to Salmon Rushdie

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius says "shit happens."

PROTESTANTISM: Let shit happen to someone else.

CATHOLICISM: If shit happens, you deserved it.

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to us?

BAHA'I: Shit happens to everyone equally.

KRISHNA: Shit happens, shit happens, happens, happens, shit, shit.

VEDANTA: Shit happening is an illusion.

MORMON: 10% of my shit belongs to God.

CELTIC FOLKLORE: At the end of every rainbow is a pot of shit.

EARLY EGYPTIAN: Shit happens, the world is a microcosm of the universe;
therefore, the universe is shit.

SCIENTOLOGY: Shit can happen to you too.

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYST: I acknowledge my shit, and it's ok.

ATHEISM: Shit happens, therefore, there is no God.

AGNOSTICISM: Shit may or may not happen.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: It's not shit, and it's not happening.

SOLOPSISM: If there is no shit, it doesn't happen.

EXISTENTIALISM: So shit happens.

DECONSTRUCTIONALISM: What makes you think that's shit?

OPTIMISM: That's the best damn shit that ever happened.

PESSIMISM: It's all shit.

SHAMANISM: Shit is a fertiliser.

POLLYANNA: Where there is shit, there is life.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.

SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.

FUNDAMENTALISM: Born-again shit.

NEW AGE: If shit happens, honour and share it.

ORAL ROBERTS: Send me money or shit will happen.

RICHARD NIXON: I am not shit.

RONALD REAGAN: I don't recall shit happening.

HEISENBERG: Shit may happen and it may not.

CLARENCE THOMAS: Shit happened to me once, but I express regret.

DECARTES:1. Shit happens, therefore I am.
2. I am, therefore shit happens.
3. Cogito ergo defecato.

AA: Deal with shit one day at a time.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 1:28 am 
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Evidence that Covid-19 is a Female Plot: All sports are cancelled. All bars are closed. It kills mostly men. Males who live must stay home with their families.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2020 11:27 pm 
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