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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 4:15 am 
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A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes, so he walks down to the store only to find it closed.

So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3 a.m. and says, “Oh no, it’s so late, my wife’s going to kill me.” He takes his shoes outside and rubs them in the grass and mud, then proceeds home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed off. “Where the hell have you been?!?!” “Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine. I saw this great-looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”

She sees his shoes are covered with grass and says, “You lying bastard!!! You’ve been fishing again!!!”


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 12:03 pm 
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The girl at the Ryan Air check-in desk said, "Window or aisle?"
I replied, "Window or you'll what?"


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 12:05 pm 
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Man who can't stop singing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin songs diagnosed with crooner virus


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 12:09 pm 
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Location: Québec country (let me dream...)
Melania Trump wrote:
Man who can't stop singing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin songs diagnosed with crooner virus

I hope I never get it !!!
:shock:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 12:19 pm 
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everybody loves somebody


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 12:20 pm 
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Location: Québec country (let me dream...)
… sometime , only sometime …
8)

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 12:22 pm 
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I'm just glad Donald doesn't sing ;)


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2020 12:24 pm 
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Unfortunately, that doesn't prevent him from opening his mouth. . .
:P

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 6:14 am 
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From one of my daughter's students:

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Because he was stuck in the crack.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 12:16 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 12, 2020 12:18 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 12:52 pm 
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Due to the risk of Covid-19, this weekend’s Country & Western Music Festival at the O2 Arena has been extended by 5 days.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2020 12:57 pm 
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Location: City Of Tiny Lites
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2020 2:01 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2020 12:26 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:17 am 
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Location: Oregon
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2020 12:07 pm 
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We used to have empires ruled by emperors…

We used to have kingdoms ruled by kings…

Now we have countries :smoke:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2020 2:28 pm 
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Chuck Norris tested positive for coronavirus. The virus is quarantined for two weeks!

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2020 7:09 pm 
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Location: Puisard Radioactif
Since i am poor i go outside with coffee filter taped on my face ;-)

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Je suis désolé pour les roles que j'ai joué dans toutes ces videos, ce n'est pas tres valorisant pour l'humanité mais si cela peut avoir fait progresser la science, alors il y aura eu un coté positif.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2020 12:44 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2020 12:47 pm 
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As the virus tightens it's grip, the German government have strongly advised their citizens to stock up on sausages and cheese. They are referring to this as the wurst kase scenario.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2020 1:05 pm 
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Remember the days before the coronavirus? I used to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough!

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 12:43 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 12:51 pm 
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Hahaha!^


I sneezed in the bank yesterday; I got more attention than I've gotten in the past ten years!

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2020 1:28 pm 
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My friend and I are having a contest to see who can use their muscles the least.

Winner gets atrophy.


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