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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2020 5:48 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.....

She gave me a hug.....

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 6:36 pm 
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Location: Eastern CT coast
Lemme go back, I gotta get back, Harry said to St. Pete at the gates.

"Oh, I can't, dead is dead, you gotta stay."

Oh pleeeeze, I gotta get back...."

"All right, but I can't send you back as yourself, I think I could manage sending you as a chicken..."

All right, all right, but you gotta send me back, I wanna live,,,"

::>POOF<::

In the barnyard, Harry as a chicken was experiencing severe abdominal pain, "What's wrong with me?!"

Nearest chicken consoles, "I think you gotta lay an egg...go over there in the corner, go over there in the corner and push..."

Uhhh..Ughhh, Uhhh...Ahh, there, that's much better...Harry looks down and there's shiny new egg,, Ugh, more pain

Push, push, Uhhh, Ughhhh, Uhhh...Ahhh, another new egg (:

Push, push, push harder...Uhhh, Ughhhh, Uhhh...Ahhh, another...

Pow! BAM! SHAKE!...."Harry WAKE UP!!! YOU'RE SHITTING THE BED!!!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:28 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2020 12:21 pm 
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I went abroad last week but found that I couldn't use cash or credit cards.

Shouldn't have gone to the Czech Republic.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 4:13 am 
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The old joke about no out of town czechs...


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 12:04 pm 
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Location: Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 12:16 pm 
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Fred is planning a trek across the desert so he goes to Mustapha's camel hire shop to hire a suitable camel. Mustapha explains to Fred how to look after the camel and gives him some riding lessons, so Fred is good to go. "Before you set off, be sure to brick the camel" says Mustapha, "Otherwise, you won't make it across the desert". Fred is somewhat mystified, so he asks Mustapha to demonstrate. Mustapha leads the camel over to the water trough, and when the camel starts drinking, grabs a brick in each hand, goes behind the camel and claps the bricks together with the camel's nuts in between. Not surprisingly, the camel gasps and in the process, swallows the full trough of water. Fred is suitably amazed, and asks "does it hurt?". "Only if you trap your thumbs" replies Mustapha.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2020 3:26 am 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
why did the cross eyed teacher lose her job?

she couldn't control her pupils.....

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2020 3:28 am 
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Tero wrote:
The old joke about no out of town czechs...


I hear Prague is cool, you should czech it out.....

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:21 pm 
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A female friend asked me "how do you view lesbian relationships?"
I said "usually in HD."


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 1:50 pm 
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the fact that there's a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven
says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers.....

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 2:23 pm 
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I’ve just had an email saying Terry Jones of Monty Python has died.

It was in my Spam folder.

I do get Spam a lot.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 2:25 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 3:44 pm 
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^^^^^ comes with a 15 page downloadable instruction pamphlet ^^^^^

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 7:31 pm 
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Discussion elsewhere today: Trump could shoot someone in the Senate and the Republicans would vote to acquit 53-47. Unless it was a Republican, then it would be 52-47.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 2020 11:15 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 25, 2020 1:24 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 25, 2020 5:44 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 25, 2020 5:48 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Jan 25, 2020 6:46 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2020 11:03 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2020 10:22 am 
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http://irelandoncraic.com/forgot-phone/
A joke


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2020 12:13 pm 
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I broke two of my Queen LPs.

Now I want to break three.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 28, 2020 3:45 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2020 12:02 pm 
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I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .


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