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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 14, 2019 11:43 am 
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Chemistry Teacher: Did you know that protons have mass?
Student: I didn't even know they were Catholics.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 14, 2019 12:11 pm 
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Therapist: "What would you like to say to your Dad if he were alive today."

Me: "Sorry for cremating you. I honestly though that you were dead."


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 1:08 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 3:41 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 11:59 am 
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I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.

I think I should have cooked it on aloha temperature.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 17, 2019 1:27 pm 
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Location: Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring.
"Where did you get that ring?" her husband asks.
"Well, she replies, "My boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."
A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat.
Where did you get that coat?" her husband asks.
She replies "My boss and I played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings."
Another week later, his wife comes home, driving a flaming red Ferrari - you guessed it, her share of the lotto winnings.
That night, the wife asks her husband to run her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed.
When she enters the bathroom, she finds that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the bath plug.
"What's this?" she asks her husband.
"Well," he replies, "We don't want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we??"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 6:56 am 
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Location: Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business.

She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was
performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just
listening to the bells.

Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she
noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the
other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the
roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak
up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight
sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also
awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out
how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up
on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 7:31 am 
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Location: Québec country (let me dream...)
:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
This one is a gem
Thanks Doug

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 21, 2019 10:48 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 22, 2019 6:59 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 2:48 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 2:52 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 27, 2019 11:32 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 30, 2019 7:55 am 
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Wife: "My hands have blisters from the broom." Husband: "Next time, take the car!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 1:59 am 
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Shop assistant, "How about this one ?"
Psychic, "That shirt is too small."
Shop assistant, "You didn't even try it on."
Psychic, "I'm a medium."


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2019 1:20 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:52 am 
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When Goofy

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Met Cosby


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 3:58 am 
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since this is the only non Trump humor thread, a couple of satires

Area man part 1
https://karireport.blogspot.com/2019/10 ... er-go.html

Area man Part 2
https://karireport.blogspot.com/2019/10 ... -back.html


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 1:03 pm 
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Sometimes I feel totally useless, that nothing I do in this life matters in the slightest - everything I do is completely pointless.

Then I remember the man who fits indicators to BMW’s…


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:48 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:47 pm 
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just plain doug wrote:
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Is that pedro when he is at home, I do sure hope so :smoke:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:03 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 2:05 pm 
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Like, I had a dream last night that I had like a Magnesium deficiency.....
...I was like 0mg


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 2:07 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 05, 2019 4:04 pm 
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