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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 1:32 am 
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A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed...

His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt; with nothing on from the waist down.

“Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!” he exclaimed.

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

“Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?” he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,

“Well… last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck.

This is your grandma’s idea.”


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 3:27 am 
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Quote:
Hi.
You can call me Katya.
Looking for a guy to meet. I will come to your area or meet me. I live in the next doorway.


Ah stop it Donald is watching :smoke:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 25, 2019 1:41 pm 
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Quote:
sleeping sleep porn


As long as its clean you know :smoke:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 1:04 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 1:04 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 3:08 am 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 1:04 pm 
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Location: Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
A man hasn't had sex in ages and decides to take a cab to a shady whorehouse on the outskirts of town...after the taxi drives off he realizes that he left his wallet in the back seat...he checks his pockets and finds 5 dollars and at the front desk he explains the situation...much to his surprise the girl that greets him says that they do have that "one" room...horny as all hell he decides it doesnt matter he'll take it

He's lead down a long hall to a door that opens into a dark room..."Come on over sexy" a hoarse voice calls out from somewhere inside the room...cautiously walking inside he slowly begins to identify his surroundings and finds a bed with an old old women sitting on top...while initially grossed out he eventually succumbs to his primal desires and decides he doesnt care and proceeds to join her in bed...

It is exactly as he imagined...no sooner than they begin he tells her that he cant...its just dry and scaly and he just feels grossed out by the whole ordeal..."Give me one second" the old woman replies and turns around...he cant see what shes doing but after a few seconds she turns around and says "try now"...reluctantly he begins to fuck her again but things are drastically different...in fact it feels fantastic...the smoothest, wettest pussy he's ever been in...in shock he asks her what she could've possibly done.

"Nothing much really....I just picked the scabs and let the pus run"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:54 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:57 pm 
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Wife: I have blisters on my hands from the broom!

Husband: Next time take the car, silly!


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:02 pm 
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A cowboy emigrated to Wales and opened a ranch at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

Unfortunately, none of his cattle survived the branding...


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:04 pm 
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Freudian Slips...

They happen to the breast of us.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 1:04 pm 
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Two people stole a calendar...

They each got six months


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 2:32 pm 
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Location: Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
There I was, sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker
steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, what cha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I break down in tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting
and my boss fired me. When I went to the car park, I found my car had been stolen and I
don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the taxi I took home. I found my wife with
another man, and then my dog bit me.
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy myself a drink,
I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up
and drink the whole thing!
“But enough about me… how's your day going?"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 31, 2019 3:34 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2019 1:34 pm 
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A guy with six kids was getting fed up with the family always squabbling about who would get the drumsticks when they were having a chicken dinner. So he got together with a geneticist and after some failures they eventually succeeded in crossing the chicken with an octopus.

The only problem was they had no idea how it tasted because no one could catch the darn thing.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 01, 2019 1:37 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 5:15 am 
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Mij wrote:
......and everyone here note that you repeat yourself like an old parrot. Nothing new from ol' JPF.

Well, reading this made me laugh, anyway. :D

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 5:30 am 
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Location: Québec country (let me dream...)
I take it you consider JPF as a Bad Joke
:mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 9:59 am 
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Your family's so poor, they had to go the the Zappa forum so they could eat all that free Russian Spam.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:07 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
Your family's so poor, they had to go the the Zappa forum so they could eat all that free Russian Spam.


Or is it Trump Spam :smoke:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 1:14 pm 
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A woman is woken up at 4.30 in the morning by some strange noise downstairs.
She tries to wake up her husband, but the other side of the bed is empty.
Rather scared she screams: “Who's that in our house?”
To her relief it turns out that the cause of the noise is not a burglar, but her husband.
The noise continues for quite some time and the wife shouts down “What the hell are you doing down there?”
The husband replies: “Oh nothing to worry about. I’m just trying to get a cask of beer up the stairs.”
His wife is pretty fed up by now and yells: “For the love of God, will you leave that down there.”

“I can’t”, the husband shouts back...........

“I drank it.”


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 2:44 pm 
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Doctor looking at a nasty black eye: "How did this happen?"

Patient: I was banging my sexy young neighbour over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open. She said, "It's my husband, quick, try the back door!"

Patient: "Thinking back, I really should have ran but Doc, you don't get offers like that every day..."


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2019 4:02 am 
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One for KU

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2019 11:02 am 
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Location: Over there! (last)
A duck goes into a grocery store and says, “Do you have any duck food?”

The guy says “No”.

Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any duck food?”

Guy says, “No”.

Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any duck food?”

The guy says, “No”.

Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any duck food?”

The guy says, “Listen, I told you I haven’t got any duck food. If you come in again, I’ll nail your little web feet to the floor!”

Duck goes in the next day and says, “You got any nails?”

Guy says, “No”.

Duck says………… “You got any duck food?”


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:30 pm 
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Mother, a bit concerned as her daughter is on her first date. The lad she is going with comes from a notoriously mean and tight-fisted family. When her daughter returns from the date, her mother asks how it went. 'He took me out for tea and biscuits' daughter said. Mother asks if she enjoyed it. 'Yes, it was exciting, I'd never given blood before'.


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