Zappa.com

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

Dad told me to stop using such high caliber rounds while hunting. As usual, it went in one deer and out the other.

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Join the PackardGoose forum! Send me a PM!

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

Memo to self: Leave mistletoe at home this year.

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The wife and I were walking in St. Petersburg, Russia the other day. It started to precipitate. I said it was rain, but the wife said it was snow. We decided to stop a soldier and settle the discussion. Thoe soldier, name was Rudolph, confirmed it was just rain. I turned to my wife and said,

"See, Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"

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"Why do people say "Grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding"! -- Sheng Wang

^^^^^ARGHHHHH! ^^^^^

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

_________________
You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

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that's what happens when you don't read you loose your link to higher thinking

What did the buffalo say when his son left?

Bison!

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

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What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

“Graaaaaaaains!”

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

The plane leaves JFK airport under the control of a Jewish Captain.
His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together
and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish Captain
activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese..."
"No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "Why not?"
"You people bombed Pearl Harbour, that's why."
"No, no", the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah.
That Japanese, not Chinese."
"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese. Doesn't matter, you're all alike."
There's a few minutes of silence ...
"I no rike Jews", the co-pilot suddenly announces.
"Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain.
"Jews sink Titanic," says the co-pilot.
"What? That's insane. Jews didn't sink the Titanic," exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , no mattah ... all same."

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?

He needed his space.

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

I wasn’t going to visit my family this Christmas, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict.

So I’m going home for the hollandaise.

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

Why does Dr Pepper come in bottles? His wife died.

Ms' Paul's Fish Sticks. Does yours?

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?

what's worse than eating your grandma' pussy?

banging your head on the coffin lid!

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that's what happens when you don't read you loose your link to higher thinking

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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Hey Punk, did you just ask Brad to find 11,780 Republican votes down the back of the sofa?