Zappa.com

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hey punk let's make lying great again

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

Dad told me to stop using such high caliber rounds while hunting. As usual, it went in one deer and out the other.

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Join the PackardGoose forum! Send me a PM!

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

Memo to self: Leave mistletoe at home this year.

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The wife and I were walking in St. Petersburg, Russia the other day. It started to precipitate. I said it was rain, but the wife said it was snow. We decided to stop a soldier and settle the discussion. Thoe soldier, name was Rudolph, confirmed it was just rain. I turned to my wife and said,

"See, Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear"

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"Why do people say "Grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive! If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding"! -- Sheng Wang

^^^^^ARGHHHHH! ^^^^^

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hey punk let's make lying great again

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

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that's what happens when you don't read you loose your link to higher thinking

What did the buffalo say when his son left?

Bison!

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hey punk let's make lying great again

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

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hey punk let's make lying great again

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What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

“Graaaaaaaains!”

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hey punk let's make lying great again

The plane leaves JFK airport under the control of a Jewish Captain.
His co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together
and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike.
Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish Captain
activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese..."
"No rike Chinese?" asks the co-pilot, "Why not?"
"You people bombed Pearl Harbour, that's why."
"No, no", the co-pilot protests, "Chinese not bomb Peahl Hahbah.
That Japanese, not Chinese."
"Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese. Doesn't matter, you're all alike."
There's a few minutes of silence ...
"I no rike Jews", the co-pilot suddenly announces.
"Oh yeah, why not?" asks the captain.
"Jews sink Titanic," says the co-pilot.
"What? That's insane. Jews didn't sink the Titanic," exclaims the captain, "It was an iceberg."
"Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, Rosenberg , no mattah ... all same."

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?

He needed his space.

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hey punk let's make lying great again

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

I wasn’t going to visit my family this Christmas, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict.

So I’m going home for the hollandaise.

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hey punk let's make lying great again

Why does Dr Pepper come in bottles? His wife died.

Ms' Paul's Fish Sticks. Does yours?

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

Because it’s pointless!

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hey punk let's make lying great again

what's worse than eating your grandma' pussy?

banging your head on the coffin lid!

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that's what happens when you don't read you loose your link to higher thinking

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

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hey punk let's make lying great again