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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 4:35 pm 
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly… and for the same reason.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 5:19 pm 
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My wife got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Dec 25, 2017 5:52 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ”Pint please, and one for the road.”

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:03 am 
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Location: Windsor,Ontario Canada
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:44 am 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘Have you got anything for wind?’

He gave me a kite.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 4:45 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:40 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.


A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Amal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan’. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ”But they are twins. If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”


When Susan’s boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ”I love the simple things in life, but I don’t want one of them for my husband”.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 12:59 pm 
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Location: The Thumb
I just got a new car for my girlfriend. Good trade! :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:21 pm 
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I saw this guy chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ”He’s trying to pull a fast one”.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 1:37 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 2:31 pm 
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, ”I want to report a nuisance caller”, he said ”Not you again”.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:16 pm 
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I'm dreaming of a white Christmas and when that's gone I'll drink the red.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:18 pm 
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What did Beethoven say to John cage after 4'33"?

where is the tonic? :mrgreen:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:19 pm 
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:20 pm 
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 5:20 pm 
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

I'd better stop now :smoke:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2017 10:33 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ”I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything”


Slept like a log last night…….. Woke up in the fireplace.


A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ”Sorry we don’t serve food in here”

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 6:20 am 
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I entered "painfully bad jokes" into Google Search.
This was the first thing in the list.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 2:18 pm 
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Eddie RUKidding wrote:
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

I'd better stop now :smoke:



A Buddhist ordered a pizza:

"How would you like it, sir?"
"Make me one with everything."

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 6:27 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ”Did you get my drift?”.


I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.


Went to the paper shop – it had blown away.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2017 6:39 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Dec 29, 2017 6:52 pm 
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Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ”But why?” they asked, as they moved off. ”because,” he said ”I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 1:38 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Dec 30, 2017 11:35 am 
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I was in Walmart and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, ”Are you two an item?”

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:05 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 5:30 pm
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