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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2021 7:22 pm 
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^ :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 16, 2021 12:26 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 2021 4:39 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2021 2:57 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2021 2:58 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 21, 2021 1:53 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 22, 2021 1:39 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2021 12:49 pm 
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"You're under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia." "Wait! I can explain everything!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 23, 2021 10:56 pm 
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In exactly 3,029 years, there’s a chance things could be really good, and there’s a chance things could be really bad.

I guess it will be 5050.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Sep 24, 2021 8:15 pm 
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Ceasar Salad.....

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Sep 25, 2021 3:40 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2021 1:45 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2021 12:22 am 
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American president Joe Biden is visiting a Glasgow hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious signs of injury of illness. He greets one. The patient replies :

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face, Great chieftain of the pudding race,Aboon them a ye take our place. Painch,tripe or thaim. Aslangs my arm."

Biden is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The next patient responds :

"Some hae meat an canna eat, And some wad meat that want it, But we hae meat an we can eat, So let the Lord be thankful."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the President moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant :

"Wee sleekit,cowering,timorous beasty, O the panic in thy breastie, Thou needna start awa sae hastie, Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Biden turns to the accompanying doctor and asks, "Is this a psychiatric ward ?"

"No" says the doctor " Its our serious Burns unit ".

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 11:24 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2021 12:01 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2021 12:29 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2021 8:26 am 
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Murphy and his wife were in the delivery room when the doctor announced, "Murph! You have a son!" Murphy was excited, but the doctor continued, "Hang on! We're not finished yet." He then delivered a baby girl. "Murph! You have a daughter, too!" Murphy was puzzled and surprised. The doctor said, "Hang on, Murph, we're still not done." He then delivered another boy. "Murph, you have another boy." Murphy asked, "Doc, what caused all of them?" "You never know, Murph. Maybe it was something that happened during conception." When Murph was alone with his wife, he said, "Mama? Remember when we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use 3-in-1 oil?" She said, "Yeah, I remember." "Well, it's a good thing I didn't grab the WD-40!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2021 7:06 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2021 1:10 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2021 7:33 am 
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Why did the art thief's getaway vehicle run out of fuel?
He had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2021 12:52 pm 
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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first asks for a pint of beer. The second asks for a half pint. The third for a quarter pint. The fourth for an eighth pint. The fifth for a sixteenth pint. This goes on for a bit until the bartender slams his fist down on the bar and says "You mathematicians need to know your limits!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Oct 02, 2021 7:30 pm 
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^ :mrgreen:

I took my wife to the doctors today to sort out her Tourette’s.

.

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Turns out she doesn’t have it, I am a cunt….and she really does want me to fuck off...

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2021 7:01 am 
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^^^ :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: the bad joke thread
PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2021 7:32 am 
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did you hear about the blind prostitute?

well, you got to hand it to her.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2021 11:12 pm 
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After many years of saving, I finally managed to buy my own house. I'm going to move in with my sick mother.
I may start a small local business.....

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