Zappa.com

The Official Frank Zappa Messageboards
It is currently Wed Feb 19, 2020 5:07 pm

All times are UTC - 8 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 6:24 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:18 pm
Posts: 7050
Location: Over there! (last)
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 9:22 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 10:50 am
Posts: 6003
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Merry Christmas :mrgreen:

_________________
Solipsism
Ambidextrous Records
Solipsism Twitter
Solipsism Facebook
Juno Records Vinyl


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 9:29 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:18 pm
Posts: 7050
Location: Over there! (last)
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 10:41 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 9:28 pm
Posts: 5134
Location: in the tiny dirt somewhere
Image
..and a benign new year...

_________________
I'm petulant, and I'm having a frenzy...


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 1:22 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 10:19 am
Posts: 6801
Location: Eastern CT coast
Happy Holidays all :)

_________________
Lesser-evilism is war.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2015 7:29 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 7:51 pm
Posts: 35468
Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
Image

_________________
hey punk let's make justice justice again


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:32 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Mar 17, 2003 5:30 pm
Posts: 32042
Location: Windsor,Ontario Canada
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 8:22 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Jul 08, 2014 4:19 am
Posts: 16570
Location: misanthropia
Image

_________________
that's what happens when you don't read you loose your link to higher thinking


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2015 6:10 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Sep 28, 2002 4:25 am
Posts: 3704
Location: SANTA MARIA,CA USA
Merry Krimble! (as Aspy used to say) :wink: :mrgreen:

_________________
One two, buckle my shoe!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 6:32 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:18 pm
Posts: 7050
Location: Over there! (last)
dove_grey wrote:
Merry Krimble! (as Aspy used to say) :wink: :mrgreen:

Ahh…good ol' aspy. 8)

Image

Don't let the teeth fool ya. She's from the UK. 8)


Last edited by Mr. Nice Guy on Mon Dec 23, 2019 5:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 7:29 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:29 pm
Posts: 3910
Location: south midlands, UK
Mr. Nice Guy wrote:
Don't let the teeth fool ya. She's from the UK. 8)

"In a recent World Health Organisation report of the dental status of children known as the DFMT index, for example, British youths had fewer decayed, missing or filled teeth than those in France, Spain and Sweden; Britain’s rates were comparable with Germany, the Netherlands and Finland.
The United States, on the other hand, did quite a bit worse. At the age of 12, children in the United Kingdom have on average better teeth than their American counterparts. This is due to a decrease in the number of children with decayed teeth in Britain in the last 10 years. In England there are, on average, 0.6 decayed missing or filled teeth per 12-year-old. In the United States, the figure is double this… but the US data was collected a few years earlier than the British data. In 2012, seven out of 10 people in Britain visited the dentist, compared with four in 10 Americans. Another way of approaching the issue is to look at how often people visit the dentist. In 2012, seven out of 10 people in Britain visited the dentist, compared with four in 10 Americans."
:mrgreen:
TT

_________________
and I know, I think
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 8:55 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:18 pm
Posts: 7050
Location: Over there! (last)
Yeah - but what about heredity? 8)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Dec 26, 2015 2:23 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:14 am
Posts: 36310
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
deuce wrote:
Mr. Nice Guy wrote:
Don't let the teeth fool ya. She's from the UK. 8)

"In a recent World Health Organisation report of the dental status of children known as the DFMT index, for example, British youths had fewer decayed, missing or filled teeth than those in France, Spain and Sweden; Britain’s rates were comparable with Germany, the Netherlands and Finland.
The United States, on the other hand, did quite a bit worse. At the age of 12, children in the United Kingdom have on average better teeth than their American counterparts. This is due to a decrease in the number of children with decayed teeth in Britain in the last 10 years. In England there are, on average, 0.6 decayed missing or filled teeth per 12-year-old. In the United States, the figure is double this… but the US data was collected a few years earlier than the British data. In 2012, seven out of 10 people in Britain visited the dentist, compared with four in 10 Americans. Another way of approaching the issue is to look at how often people visit the dentist. In 2012, seven out of 10 people in Britain visited the dentist, compared with four in 10 Americans."
:mrgreen:
TT

Image

_________________
You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Dec 27, 2015 12:34 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:29 pm
Posts: 3910
Location: south midlands, UK
Mr. Nice Guy wrote:
Yeah - but what about heredity? 8)

Ah, now we're talking. Theory is that as man's (including women of course) brains increase in size, the cranium is growing whilst the jaw is shrinking, causing said dental issues.
We're just that bit more intelligent than you :mrgreen:
TT

_________________
and I know, I think
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 8:12 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 20, 2014 6:18 pm
Posts: 7050
Location: Over there! (last)
John Darkow
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 9:37 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2005 10:19 am
Posts: 6801
Location: Eastern CT coast
Image

_________________
Lesser-evilism is war.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 10:01 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat Dec 22, 2018 1:51 am
Posts: 11
Location: Transylvania
Happy holidays for all!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 1:07 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 7:51 pm
Posts: 35468
Location: >>==> Wellington New Zealand
Image

_________________
hey punk let's make justice justice again


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 4:38 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:21 am
Posts: 6119
Location: Rhineland
Image

_________________
What's the ugliest part of your body ?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 4:58 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:07 pm
Posts: 5793
Location: Closer than I Appear
Wishing everyone a pleasant, kickass holiday season.

_________________
Let's hear it again for the London Philharmonic Orchestra!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 5:01 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sun Feb 16, 2003 7:29 pm
Posts: 10240
Image



  1. there are approximately 2 billion children [persons under 18] in the world, however, since santa doesn't visit children of muslim, hindu, shinto, jewish, taoist, krishna or buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for christmas night to approx. 15% of the total, or 378 million [according to the population reference bureau]
    .
  2. at an average [census] rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each
    .
  3. santa has approx. 31 hours of christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west, which seems logical; this works out to 967.7 visits per second ...for each christian household with a good child, santa has approx. 1/1000th of a second to:
    1. park the sleigh
    2. hop out
    3. slide down the chimney
    4. fill the stockings
    5. distribute the remaining presents under the tree
    6. eat whatever snacks have been left for him
    7. get his fat ass back up the chimney
    8. jump into the sleigh, and
    9. get on to the next house
    .
  4. assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth [which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations], we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks
    .
  5. this means santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound ... for purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run [at best] 15 miles per hour max.
    .
  6. the payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element; assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized gay bob doll [2 pounds], the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting the jolly fat man himself
    .
  7. on land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds; even granting that the 'flying' reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -- santa would need 360,000 reindeer to move the sleigh
    .
  8. this increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the queen elizabeth [the ship, not the monarch]
    .
  9. 554,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance -- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere; the lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each … in short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake
    .
  10. the entire team of 360,000 reindeer would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time santa reached the 5th house on his trip
    .
  11. not that it matters, however, since santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to forces of 17,500 g's
    .
  12. a 250 pound santa [which seems ludicrously slim] would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo
    .

  13. therefore, if santa did exist, he's dead now

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Dec 24, 2018 5:05 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:07 pm
Posts: 5793
Location: Closer than I Appear
Well that’s an eye opener.

Fudge.

_________________
Let's hear it again for the London Philharmonic Orchestra!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 3:18 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:03 pm
Posts: 6920
Location: Pouting for you? Punky Meadows, pouting for you?!!
Merry Christmas!!

_________________
The way I see it Barry, this should be a very dynamite show.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Dec 25, 2018 5:36 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 24, 2007 7:14 am
Posts: 36310
Location: Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
Garry Crimble to you,
Garry Mimble to you.
Getty Bable, dear Christmas,
Happy Birthday me too!
---J.L.

_________________
You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2019 3:46 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2012 12:52 pm
Posts: 19375
Location: LumberTruckWest
Image

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group