Zappa.com

Magnifying glass and a very sharp scalpel?

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You're probably wondering why I'm here
(not that it makes a heck of a lot of a difference to ya)

You know it JPD.

Is 12 as important as it seems or am I reading too much into it? I mean, 12 should've been 10 its got that much going for it! Also, aren't pelicans great?

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Don't Be Stupid Unless You Want To

Why doesn't the English language have an umlaut? I want one damn it.

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Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...

I don't go for these kinds of tests, bub. Your mind control doesn't work here.

It does. Lars Umlaut, a character in Guitar Hero.



I hope this satisfies you.

Dear calvin,
Is "everything in moderation" the same as saying; "The Unmoderated is moderated?"
Or is,"The world is Xenochrony",which is moderated by others be considered true xenochrony,or just xenochrony modified for the moderation of the modifier?
Is there a difference and can you explain it please?
Help,Juaquin Phoenix needs to know now!.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

Dear Calvin,
I have a friend who became a dental hygienist in a foreign country and I was hoping you could help me find which one?

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Ask Arkay. I can't be bothered.

Okay, well, it is my advice thread. So, I'll just say, it all means nothing. Is the note the big note? Any note? Moderated, unmoderated? Synchronicity, Xenochrony, Xenophobia, Chicken Broth? Just like Joaquin, fakers. I hope you'll get the essence of my message - I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.

Ask Arkay.

Start here:
http://www.ifdh.org/workabroad/germany.shtml

Follow the clues until the end.

Dear calvin,
You mention,ask Arkay.....twice.Do you mean we should start an ask Arkay thread?
Thanks,KK.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

Sure, but you might have to wait a while. He doesn't post much anymore. Maybe a quick PM would do the job also.

Dear Calvin

If a woodchuck chucks a chuck of wood and a tree falls in the forrest, will it desturb a bears shit in the woods and where will the antelope roam?

Expect a letter from my lawyer forthwith. Such a brash plagiarism of my screenplay will not go unpunished.

Dear Calvin,
How long did it take you to "fit in" on the Zappa.com forum? Got any guesstaments as to how long until I "fit in"? Not that it makes a heck of a Lotta Crabtrees.But I really want to be "in!"
Waiting patiently,KK.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

Dear Calvin

If you hadn't heard I have movie star hair that keeps getting me special treatment and unwanted advances from beautiful women...what do you suggest.

Signe me
Wanting to be average

You didn't know you were already "in"? You were supposed to receive the special handshake instructions and where to send a dropper full of blood to complete the initiation. And where to meet for the "Gabba Gabba Cerermony."

Dear Calvin, Mr Help a lot, why when I look in a mirror do I only see a cartoon looking back at me?

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And now in the corner to my right the man whom need no introduction

I would suggest this is perhaps not a product of your hair, but maybe a delusion.

Dear Calvin,
How do you tell a friend his Hollywood hair starts way behind his ears.....and women follow him 'cause he leaves a trail a money.
Oh,and how do I collect from said friend that $100,000.00 he bet me on pool at Shooters Reno,NV. too?
Not wanting to offend or anything,help me Calvin won Jakoby & Pliers,your my only pope.
KK in Kali-Fornakatia.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

Dear Calvin

How do you tell a friend that is an old hippie that he can still personify the 60's & 70's while using modern Hygiene?

Sign Me
Something smells in NorCal

Because you look just like one? But it's not a shame to look like Droopy.

I am not the one to get in the middle of fights. I'm a pacifist, after all. Or course, for a split of the money, I might not be.

Dear Calvin

If the hills are alive with the sound of music, why didn't I hear anything when I got there?

Sign me
Confused

You must be dressed in leiderhosen and carry an acoustic guitar.