Zappa.com

Thanks for the clarification.

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NJP

"Uh, uh!" Thanks Bro', er...Calvin. I'll try that.

Oh, uh, you're welcome?

Calvin,

Why do shoes come in different sizes? For example, I saw a size 12 at one store, but then at another store I saw a size 8.

Signed,
Confused in Coweta

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Let's hear it again for the London Philharmonic Orchestra!

Dude.

I'm surprised you're mentioning this. This is 9/11, grassy knoll conspiracy stuff. I mean, even the most conspiraciest people don't talk about this. I would delete your message, burn your computer, and become a dental hygienist in a foreign country. Don't tell me which one or I'll have to burn my computer, but I don't want to, because I just got it and it's nice.

I understand that if you know the equation there is no need to ask such questions......

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Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...

Dear Calvin,
I have a fear of heights, but I live in a high-rise building. What should I do?
Signed, Nervous in New York

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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Cover all the windows with construction paper. Have an artist come in and paint on said paper as if you were living in a basement apartment.

I may have to retire the shingle. Nobody's asking for advice.

Dear Calvin,
What's the difference between Sir Ius Rincewind & Sabretoophairy ?

I suspect they are the same person, but I have no idea since I've got them both foe'd. Usernames?

Dear Calvin - - What is reality?

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Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...

So Calvin, which should I choose...

On one hand I could likely take a job that I'd have to move about 5 hours away for...same pay but lose my "cheap living" here.... It's a job I'm lukewarm for at best, tepid better describes it...naaa... probably will be like a fish out of water because I'm used to road life for 22 years but this job I'll have to go to the same place every day...but the money's good...


OR...

I could go on unemployment and goto college for computer science which when added to my experience and load of certifications would make me a good candidate to get some other job later, probably one I would like better than the one in "Option A." Also, about once a month I see a job I am qualified for go by in the company that just laid me off....I can't be rehired for a year, but by then I'll be nearing the end of school, and unemployment, and have friends at this company so could quite possibly get back in, (and get all my seniority back...and it would be the kind of work I like a lot).


So option A is crappy but certain work that I have to move for...
option B is a new computer science degree with unemployment living, and no definate job later.

What should I do?

Signed,
Confounded in Connecticut.

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Lesser-evilism is war.

It's the answer to your question as you perceive it.

Wasn't it Dylan Thomas who said "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

So I would take that to mean you should move during the day and not at night when it's harder to see when you're driving. And you misspelled definite, so I don't see any happy ending at college, unless you meet a masseuse.

Dear Calvin,
I have been trying to reach a forum member named "immersive". I have had no luck contacting him telepathically. What should I do?
Signed,
Telepathically Challenged

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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

I just "sent" you the message on what to do.

Dear Calvin,
I'm not feeling the holiday spirit this year. How can I make my mood a little more Christmasy?

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I'm not bald; I'm taller than my hair.

Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N4EFVgtB0Y

and drink a gallon of eggnog.

Calvin how do I keep cats out of my garden with out shooting them ?

1. A dog
2. "Mark your territory"
3. Land mines
4. Giant glue traps
5. In the ground "cat"apults (hee hee) that fling them miles away
6. Knives

Poor kitties!

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Country music + Black music = Rock and Roll

It's called "tough love".

No more Kitties in the garden,i put moth balls in the garden.

Moth balls? How did you do that?