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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:21 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

Why is it when you take a week off upon your return instead of having double the work to do, it seems like triple the work.... :?

Sign me up to my eyeballs in alligators... :shock:



Dear Alligators:

Whatcha gonna do, knowwhutImean?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:59 pm 
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I think Cal's slipping. :x


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:14 pm 
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KUIII wrote:
I think Cal's slipping. :x


Of course you're not certified to judge such things, like I am.

You've entirely missed the subtext of what I've told Plook. By keeping my answer succinct, it allowed him the time to wade through what must be hundreds of god awful tasks he has to do in whatever the hell his mind numbing job is. So, I chose to be short and elate his mood.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:44 pm 
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Cal's sharp as ever.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:55 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
KUIII wrote:
I think Cal's slipping. :x


Of course you're not certified to judge such things, like I am.

You've entirely missed the subtext of what I've told Plook. By keeping my answer succinct, it allowed him the time to wade through what must be hundreds of god awful tasks he has to do in whatever the hell his mind numbing job is. So, I chose to be short and elate his mood.

My apologies, Cal. I saw only the surface and not the deep layers of your brilliance. Never again.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2017 6:06 am 
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OMG, LMFAO...I am literally soaking up spit check coffee from my computer station...and another day another task... :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 4:54 am 
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dear cal,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7RgN9ijwE4




signed,
it happened again

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el mapian poetry sucks


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 11, 2017 6:51 pm 
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Cal, there's a Snickers wrapper caught in the inner air lock door seal so I can't cycle the air out to open the outer door. What should I do?

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Lesser-evilism is war.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 7:25 am 
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Dear Cal

My computer has been acting up lately, I named it HAL, what do you make of this and can it get serious?

Sign Me

On a good old fashion Odyssey


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:24 am 
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baddy wrote:
Cal, there's a Snickers wrapper caught in the inner air lock door seal so I can't cycle the air out to open the outer door. What should I do?


You'll need an impact driver, a no 2 pencil, several crates of plaster of paris, one of those star looking screwdriver things, and some butter.

After you obtain these things, it should be readily apparent on how to use them.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 12, 2017 8:31 am 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

My computer has been acting up lately, I named it HAL, what do you make of this and can it get serious?

Sign Me

On a good old fashion Odyssey


Well, let me drop some knowledge on you (besides the fact that you are trying to compute on a video game system): You are trying to compute on a video game system.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 12:00 am 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
baddy wrote:
Cal, there's a Snickers wrapper caught in the inner air lock door seal so I can't cycle the air out to open the outer door. What should I do?


You'll need an impact driver, a no 2 pencil, several crates of plaster of paris, one of those star looking screwdriver things, and some butter.

After you obtain these things, it should be readily apparent on how to use them.


Dear Cal
Have you ever considered becoming an adventure game writer?

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Join the PackardGoose forum! Send me a PM!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2017 4:51 am 
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judging by his response to my recent question,
i'd say he's a choose-his-own-adventure writer... right now!

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el mapian poetry sucks


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PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:01 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
baddy wrote:
Cal, there's a Snickers wrapper caught in the inner air lock door seal so I can't cycle the air out to open the outer door. What should I do?


You'll need an impact driver, a no 2 pencil, several crates of plaster of paris, one of those star looking screwdriver things, and some butter.

After you obtain these things, it should be readily apparent on how to use them.


Lol, wouldn't it be easier if we just called Housekeeping?

"Housekeeping to Air Lock 12 please."
"Engineering, we can shut down life support to 10-17." :D

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Lesser-evilism is war.


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 8:39 am 
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Dear Cal

I'm on the verge of pulling off a tri-crappa, 3 shits in 3 time zones on the same day, when I get home if I eat prunes to get the third deuce would that be Patriots like cheating, I need a official league ruling.


Sign me Full of shit


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:33 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I'm on the verge of pulling off a tri-crappa, 3 shits in 3 time zones on the same day, when I get home if I eat prunes to get the third deuce would that be Patriots like cheating, I need a official league ruling.


Sign me Full of shit


Natural laxatives are okay (prunes, bran, listening to Aerosmith's "Music From Another Dimension" album) but it's when you get to the anabolic stuff (Mudflow, Colonoscopy In A Can, You Gotta Be Shittin' Me) that you're breaking the rules.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 4:47 pm 
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Dear Calvin,

This is a two-parter. First of all, my basketball doesn’t bounce as highly as it should. Should I seek professional help? Secondly, I have a strange infatuation with a female coworker 20 years my junior. Should I check the pressure gauge on my pump?

Mixed up and slightly dazed,

Feets

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:33 pm 
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feetlightup wrote:
Dear Calvin,

This is a two-parter. First of all, my basketball doesn’t bounce as highly as it should. Should I seek professional help? Secondly, I have a strange infatuation with a female coworker 20 years my junior. Should I check the pressure gauge on my pump?

Mixed up and slightly dazed,

Feets


Yes. Extemely Fastly. It's a sign of mental turgidity and is not a jejune matter.

and

No need to check your pump - I can't imagine a more healthy thing in the workplace. Infatuate away!


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:51 pm 
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Dear Cal

My puppy was playing with me when I had my shirt off it it suppled my nipple and milk came out, should I be concerned?

Sign Me

The Milk Man


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 05, 2017 5:42 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

My puppy was playing with me when I had my shirt off it it suppled my nipple and milk came out, should I be concerned?

Sign Me

The Milk Man


This is a normal condition due to the synthetic steroid laxatives you take, referred to in the post above.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 6:26 pm 
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Cal,

Any relationship between men and women is a mounting debt- Thomas McGuane

Do we both pay an equal amount?


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 7:40 pm 
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It's an impossible question, isn't it? How do you calculate the worth of a person and how this worth is realized vis-a-vis the interaction between a man and a woman? Unless your contrapuntal argument includes abuse or power. Then it might be calculable. But then you would have to consider how prevalent that is.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:05 pm 
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Dear Cal,

It's that time of year again, you know, when I get this overwhelming urge to immerse myself in cranberry sauce.
Like, up to my neck.
Should I do it?

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I can't tell when you're telling the truth.
>I'm not.
How do I know anything you've said to me is...
>You don't.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 8:41 pm 
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sleeping in a jar wrote:
Dear Cal,

It's that time of year again, you know, when I get this overwhelming urge to immerse myself in cranberry sauce.
Like, up to my neck.
Should I do it?


Of course. Life should be fun. Pics would be nice.


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