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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2019 10:27 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 11, 2019 7:15 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:36 am 
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• A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.

• One night the couple woke to find the mother gone. In a clearing not far from the camp they came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a tree with a snarling lion facing her.

• The wife said: “What are we going to do?” “Nothing,” said the husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it.”


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 2:29 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 12, 2019 9:19 pm 
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Some of those are really bad


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 1:38 pm 
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Ph@rmacist to customer. "Sir please understand, to buy anti-depression pills you must have a proper prescription from your doctor, showing your marriage certificate and your wife's picture is not enough."


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2019 3:03 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:49 pm 
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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, "Which book has
helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied, "My husband's cheque book!!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 12:56 am 
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^^^^^ ain't that the truth.....and sooooo f%#king bad..... ^^^^^


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 2:33 am 
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A prospective husband in a bookstore: "Do you have a book called
'Husband - the Master of the House?'"
Sales girl: "Sir, fiction and comics are on the 2nd floor!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 5:50 pm 
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Location: USA
Customer: Where are the self help books?
Clerk: I could tell you, but that would not be in the spirit of it.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 17, 2019 12:13 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 12:06 am 
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My mate with a stutter was telling me all about his Nan.

By the end of it we were all singing Hey Jude...


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 12:07 am 
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I've been feeling under the weather a lot recently and I know I need to exercise more but I received some great news today!

My doctor has encouraged me to masturbate more often!

Well, he actually told me I could have a stroke any time..


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:28 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:31 am 
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A penguin is driving to the mall when all of a sudden his engine starts running really rough, and smoke is coming from under the hood. Luckily, there's an auto repair shop right next to the mall, so he pulls in there. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall.

He kills time walking around the mall, does some window shopping, buys an ice cream cone, etc. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic.

The penguin says, "Have you had time to look at my engine?"

The mechanic says, "Yeah, it looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream."


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:34 am 
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I just had the most uncomfortable experience of my life.


I've always kinda wanted an iPhone but never had one before, so I went to the Apple Store to have a look. So there I am, when this middle aged guy comes up next to me, like really close. And then he starts asking me if I like the new iPhone, what do I think about the camera, am I thinking of getting one etc and I'm like "Yeah, it's pretty good." trying to play it cool because I don't wanna give away that there's no way I could even afford one if I wanted to. But then after a while, his comments start becoming personal, first complimenting my shoes and calling me a 'strapping young lad'. Now I'm quite weirded out but figure he's just new at sales and really bad at it.

But then I realised he's not a staff member, that he doesn't work there. So now I'm fully freaked out, this guy just came up to me and all up in my personal space, so I try to ignore him (but not trying to be subtle about it). I turn away, and get this, he sort of grabs my arm to turn me back and gives it a little squeeze and says something along the lines of "Ooh, you been hitting the gym yeah?". I turn to look at him and say "Excuse me, do not touch me" and quickly leave.

This guy catches up to me all apologetic, saying how sorry he is and he didn't realise he was annoying me and that. And as I'm about to say "Yeah, okay, fine whatever", he says "Listen, here's the thing. If you give me a blowjob, I will give you this new iPhone XS" and pulls out this new iPhone, box fresh. I was flabbergasted. I genuinely thought I'd misheard him, so had to clarify and said "What? You want me to suck you off for a phone? Really?!" And he smiled and nodded.

Some people are just so disgusting. Makes me sick.

Sent from my iPhone.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:23 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2019 12:32 pm 
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just plain doug wrote:
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:mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Low Carbon :mrgreen:


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:06 pm 
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Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed 3 episodes.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:07 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 2:45 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 3:47 am 
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^^^ Image

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri Aug 23, 2019 3:50 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2019 3:08 am 
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